cluttering the net since 2001

building a ladder

Sunday, Jan. 13, 2002
Something strange occured to me just now. I haven't talked to him since Saturday night. And that's ok. Cause he's busy...he's getting stuff done. And its ok.

I bought a new book. He says a book won't help me cause one book can't help the masses. But I have to try something. Therapy didn't help.

The book is "Positively You" by Jinger Heath. So far I like it. I read 4 chapters last night. It's like she's in my living room having coffee with me telling me what she learned.

But then again isn't it all about finding your way? No one else can give you a map. But like I told "him"...I don't want a book to fix it. I want the sum of everything I've tried to make an impact so deep that I never fall down into a hole but rather be down in it knowing I have a ladder to always get out. Did that make much sense? It does to me.

That's about all I have to say tonight. I'm out of it. I'm all over the road without a map and I'm feeling a little wired. I feel like I'm jonesing for something I've never even tasted yet.


now i'm down in it
now i'm down in it
kinda like a cloud i was up, way up in the sky
and i was feeling some feelings you wouldn't believe
sometimes i don't believe them myself
and i decided i was never coming down
just then a tiny little dot caught my eye
it was just about too small to see
but i watched it way too long
it was pulling me down
i was up above it
i was up above it
now i'm down in it

10:29 p.m. ::
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