PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

i need magic pants

Monday, Jun. 06, 2005
Today I took a “sick day”. Some stuff that went down on Saturday while volunteering to help….and I seriously needed a mental day to myself. I didn’t plan on it..just this morning I got up and felt like…just…like…well it’s hard to put into words. I felt like I needed a bottle of pills….a trip to the beach…a giant sized bar of chocolate….

I had a 1500 word paper to work on, one that I had half finished. I was feeling stressed…just blame sick to my stomach..tired…just out of it. I couldn’t even call the man and seek solace because he left his cell phone on the living room table.

I swear they should give you “mental health” days but they don’t….and I was sick…just mentally sick. I can’t even describe it. I wanted a hug…from the entire world.

Here’s a list of things I did today

1. Cleaned my car, inside and out (a task that has not been done since I bought my CRV. It smells good…looks good and mentally feels aligned.

2. Saw Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I cried in the movie theater. It was I and two old ladies were the only ones in there and we were all sniffling. The little girl dying of leukemia…so reminded me of my little brother long ago.

3. I bought two books at a used bookstore for $3.99 (buy one get one free) When the Emperor was Divine by Julie Otsuka and The Republic of Love by Carol Shields.

4. Ate a double chocolate ice cream cone from Marble Slab on a waffle cone. Yum!

5. Bought a new pair of pants at Avenue for $9.99!! Hot pink Capri’s. Too cute.

I just checked my work email from home and I see that even though my absence was announced I got 18 work related emails. They add up to approximately 57 different files with issues that I NEED TO FIX TOMORROW.

I’m trying hard, really hard, to put that out of my mind and enjoy the sunshine streaming into my living room right now. I’m trying so hard to stay mentally strong and alert and happy. I feel myself slipping into that abyss where misery becomes my best friend and I’m trying to alleviate it before I get sucked down. I never seem to be able to crawl right out happily.
7:24 p.m. ::
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