cluttering the net since 2001


Sunday, Mar. 14, 2004

It’s Sunday, I’m still in my pajamas, my son is watching tv and my b.f.’s nephew is playing a video game, the dog is roaming around waiting for fallen snack foods and I’m sitting here scanning my computer for virus’s.  I think I caught a virus by hooking up via aim with someone I barely know. I suppose that’s my own fault..but oy vay…*shrugs*


I’m reading Anna Karenina.  I’m on Chapter 18.  I’m chugging along nicely.  This entire book appears to be about love, wrong love, right love, unrequited love, couplings for wrong reasons, but rarely right love for right reasons, but then again I’m only on Chapter 18 and this book is heavily chapter laden.  You can read it for free online http://www.bibliomania.com/0/0/52/95/frameset.html  My only advice about this book, do not read too much information prior to before just reading the book.  It’ll ruin parts of it for you.


I spent most of the day yesterday trying to download all the great songs that my former church used to play.  I think I’m one of those confused out there Christian people.  I believe in Jesus, but I’m not a fan of organized religion and yah….that’s enough of that train of thought….


I’ve done a whole lot of nothing for a few days and its rather sickening.  I’m planning on joining Curves.  I met someone the other day that joined a few months ago and is feeling full of energy and she was just glowing, she’s lost some weight but more than that her confidence level has increased.  There’s a Curves by my workplace and one by my apartment, if I find that I can join and utilize those two and not just be stuck picking one or the other, then I’m in.  If I have to pick one or the other then I’m going to think about it a little longer.  I know that I need to do something, not because my pants are tight or because I want to shove fingers down my throat or because I care what anyone else thinks, but rather because I want to not feel so damned tired all the time.  I know I’m a carb addict, pasta is my enemy and yet I love my enemy like crazy.  This morning my pal Bry told me he could eat an entire dozen fried eggs and a pound of bacon without much of a problem.  Sad to think that Dr. Atkins thinks that’s far better for you than two donuts and a cup of coffee, but I know that when I followed that Atkins diet it worked.


Yesterday after my son was dropped off by his Dad, I drove b.f. to work, he got out of the truck and my son jumped into the front and the sun was streaming into my truck window and his eyes looked so blue, shiny…like the sun sparkles off of the ocean in diamond like glints.  In that one moment my heart swelled huge like a balloon, I almost cried.  I yelled towards b.f. walking towards the door to go to work, “hey look at my son…look…he’s so perfect.”  He must have thought I was crazy.  But that’s all I was thinking in that moment and it was this overwhelming instinct and so I just went with it. 


b.f. and I have a Sat. night ritual.  When my son is over b.f. is kind enough to go outside and smoke.  Bucky is allergic to cigarette smoke, it makes his eyes red and itchy and so b.f. doesn’t smoke around him.  I also store Bucky’s comforter and pillow etc in a big zip up plastic bag to keep it from the smoke the rest of the week.  So on Sat. night when b.f. smokes outside we usually go out on the patio (which is filthy…note to self : buy garden hose and kitchen sink attachment and scrub patio) and sit on these big huge blue upholstered chairs and talk.  For some reason this arrangement is so conducive to our having some great conversations.  Last night I told him that I wish every night was Saturday night.  This habit slowly evolved but it’s a nice one we have.  We also talked about some major issues that have been plaguing our relationship.  He says he’s going to address one major problem I’ve been complaining about….so we’ll see…  I will state that I do not always preach to the choir I sing in, and I have been thinking about that a lot this weekend.


Teehee….it’s too cute whenever b.f.’s nephew Sean says “I need to ask Uncle Rickie…..Uncle Rickie this or Uncle Rickie that……” It’s too cute.  Sean’s a good kid.  He comes here and he doesn’t give me any problems…..haa  He must have known I was typing about him, he came past me to go to the bathroom and he said “oh man do you type fast.”  LOL I get that reaction from grown adults.  If people knew how little time I spend typing in my diary they’d be amazed.  I’ve truly only seen one other person that can type pretty darn fast…(sandy..teehee…she typies fast) 


All day long all I have heard is “marco”  “polo”  “marco” “polo”  “marco”  “polo” ….The price you pay for living above the pool….no one tells you…no one…


Ok so I think I’m outtie…the shower is calling me….finallyyyyyyyy




p.s.  my kidlet LUVS my new hair….LUVS it….told me never to change it back..  ;-)  Another reason why he’s so damn perfect. 

1:01 p.m. ::
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