my angel
Wednesday, Oct. 09, 2002
Last night Gabby, my 11 year old neighbor was over at our house to play with Bucky. They were playing in his bedroom with his toys. (getya minds outta the gutter�they�re little kiddo�s) About an hour into the evening my son comes and tells me that Gabby took his 3 dollars. He�s slightly upset because Gabby won�t give it back. Right away Gabby starts to plead her case in a whiny voice. I hate little girl whiney voices. Having only a son, I just can�t tolerate that whiney pony tailed voice that little girls acquire quickly.
I said to them the following,
�I was not in there and I don�t know what just happened. Gabby, if you took his $3 or you did anything that you know to be wrong I am going to give you an opportunity to come clean and make it right. I am not saying that you DID do anything wrong, I am only saying that only you know if you did or not and if you did, then I�ll give you a chance to make it right again. She resumed her whiney plea telling me that her mom, the lawn man, someone at school, gave her the money! Her story changed a million times in five minutes.
So I took both of them around the corner to her mom�s house. We walked into their living room where Gabby�s mother immediately tore Gabby�s backpack apart, hunted in the pockets of her clothes and voila there was my sons $3. She was sent to her room. Now, Gabby�s mother told me months ago when I moved there that Gabby�s real mother had a drug problem and had passed away in a not so pleasant way. And that she had adopted Gabby because Gabby�s mother was her late sister. She said that Gabby�s past caused Gabby to be a habitual liar and thief.
She and her boyfriend (who seemed very smart and very concerned about Gabby�s behavior himself) apologized to my son and I. They kept telling Gabby, �He is such a good friend to you Gabby, why would you steal from him?� My son looked right at Gabby and he said, �it�s ok Gabby, I still like you.� We talked for awhile about how difficult it must be to take on such a challenge. They both told me that to have my son around is a joy and that they know he is not a liar and would never lie to them about anything. They felt badly that she did something so unkind to such a nice boy. Of course my son stood there holding his regained $3 taking all of this in and being very quiet.
I told her that I admired her for taking on such a challenge. She said that her own children were good kids and that she was at her wits end and prayed constantly for guidance and hoped that she was doing the best for Gabby that she could. I told her I didn�t know if I could ever do such a thing, but that I probably would if it were presented to me in my lifetime. I then said, �(my sons name) has always been a very good boy. I can�t even say that I can take credit. I think he was just born this way. He�s really an angel and I don�t know that its because of me.� At this point my son was on the floor playing around with their cats.
We then left and went back home. Bucky went into his bedroom to play by himself. About an hour later he emerged with a picture for me. This is not unusual. He spends the majority of his time drawing and creating. I wish I had a scanner. He drew an angel with the signature hairstyle he always draws on the mommy in his family drawings. She�s surrounded by a sky full of hearts for stars. And the thing that got to me, he wrote �BEST MOM� in big giant block letters that he colored in with different colors for each letter. The angel is wearing a banner like Miss America wears. I grabbed ahold of him and hugged him so hard and said, �honey why did you make me such a beautiful picture?� He said, �because you told someone that I was an angel.�
My mother used to introduce her children to others like this �this is Tracy my oldest daughter, she�s always on the honor roll, this is my youngest son Eric, he was sick when he was younger but now he�s healthy and I�m lucky to have him and that�s my daughter Kristy.�
It sucked. It hurt me over and over again.
Last night I did the right thing by chance. I said something from my heart without any thought. He is a good boy. I know I am lucky. I just never really thought about how he could hear me. I had long since forgotten how it affects us to hear how our parents see us and speak of us to others.
I used to work in retail and I used to compliment people about their children being beautiful. They would say, �oh yes but you should see him/her at 3 a.m. screaming their heads off.� I used to always say, �why didn�t you just say thank you?� They�d stand there staring holes through me not understanding.
Keep in mind that what you tell your children matters.
What you tell others about your child in his presence �really matters�.
By the way, have I ever told you that my son�s an angel? Well let me tell you about the time his friend stole money from him and he forgave her right away�
