my lying panties are on fire
Thursday, Jul. 01, 2004
Sometimes I lie about little things because I don�t want to hurt people or because I just don�t have the energy to talk about all of it at the moment that it�s happening to me. It still sucks that I do this. I still hate myself for doing it. It still hurts people. I suck.
When I say that I probably should have been alone first, that doesn�t mean he�s a rebound. It means I�m trying to backtrack and get mentally healthy and at the same time go forward with something brand new. I�m all over the road.
I can�t believe I�m about to type this and it almost makes me want to puke, but swinging from vine to vine to vine is not a healthy thing for any Jane to do.
Sometimes when I have conversations with my ex, I want to stick needles into the phone line on my end and hear them hit his retinas like lawn darts at a summer party in the 1980�s.
Last night I spent $32.25 on nothing but panties. Panties galore. I should have (maybe I still will) taken a picture of all of them. It�s almost beautiful to see that many pairs of new panties in one place at one time that all belong to me. I bought them at an outlet store, they are all high-end name brand�s but they were all priced at anywhere from 89 cents to $1.29. Talk about a deal. I think I have at least 28 pairs. Different colors. Lace. Satin. Cotton. Skimpy. Thong�s mostly and some boy pants. That�s all I wear. A huge bag full of butt floss, yah!
Yesterday was salt and cranberry juice. Last night was hamburger helper. I�m all fucktarded out on this diet. This morning I drank coffee with splenda and atkins chocolate sauce. Now..hmm�what�s for lunch?
They�ve hired two more girls where I work. I�m now down to working for one company, not two. Whew. But now there�s four more buttcheeks to share the potty with. Bleechh�
-PoeticaL
