PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

new truck!!

Tuesday, Mar. 04, 2003
1994 Black Chevy extended cab S-10 $1,000 down will transfer the title into my name. I then have a year to pay an additional $1500 at any rate of payment I can afford as long as I am paying at least $5 a week and showing that I have not forgotten my debt. This year long loan is interest free, repo-free, and the raddest freaking thing anyone’s ever offered to me. I may not always feel that I have much, but I always have more than I realize.

Now let me mention that the pussy car is in the mechanic’s hospital. It needs a new clutch, and I intend to get it fixed. I am keeping it even though I am buying a new truck. The “ex” is fixing the Nissan Z and has graciously offered his taxi service’s to me for the next few days for rides home from work. This means that not only do I get a free ride, but I get to see Bucky every afternoon! Yeeehawww!!! I intend to keep both vehicles after I get the Z fixed. Since my car has issues, ex came over to Rick’s apartment to look at it. Rick and I had already done everything to it that we could figure out. And besides ex drove the Z for a year before I ever did, so he knows that car really well. Rick was cool about letting ex come over and ex has been pretty cool about helping me get it fixed and squared away. Of course ex knows nothing about the truck, if he did he’d never follow through to fix the car, and I need the car to get fixed. I have plans for that pussy car.

Randy has a girlfriend who lives with her boyfriend. Yes that’s what I said. Randy has a girlfriend who lives with her boyfriend. He’s miserable. She got a DUI Sat night, I helped him bail her out, and guess what…Randys girlfriend still lives with another man. Randy is sitting around the apartment today playing all of her CD’s that she left there. *sigh* Randy doesn’t really have a girlfriend now does he? I’m not belittling this, it’s not trivial at all as it’s affecting Rick and I, and everyone in that house..ie, Randy, Rick and I ! Don’t date someone that’s with someone. The best advice I can ever give to anyone is the previous sentence.

Since ex came over to Rick’s to look at the car, Ms. Cleaver is pissed at him I’m sure. She’s so jealous, and this trips me out because what the hell is there to be jealous of? She stole him, perhaps she’s afraid I’m an Indian giver? Nah…she can have him. I watched him on the ground fixing my car, and felt nothing but disdain and contempt because he happened to have MY “Pittsburgh, PA” t-shirt on. I told him so too. I said, “that’s my shirt and I want it back, take it off.” He just said, “ok, I’ll wash it and give it back, I didn’t know where it came from.” I plan to throw it right in the garbage or something, but either way it’s mine and I want it back. And yeah that’s really lame of me considering he’s fixing my car, paying for the part until I can, and basically going out of his way pissing his girlfriend off to help me. But then again, he did say “til death do us part” and we are technically still married, and he’s the father of my child, and so…yeah..I know wrong of me. But whatever. “mixed feelings” is my middle name on those issues. He’s the reason my life’s so fucked up, let him fix a damn car I say. Besides…I’m sure he wants me to see Bucky as much as I want to see him, being that he never gets to spend any alone time with Ms. Cunt (yeah I need to change her name here now perhaps) then he needs to help me so I can “babysit” for him. Right? Right? Who cares what you think?

My boss Lynda let me borrow her car to go grab something for lunch. Nice car. It’s a red convertible Sebring. Very nice indeed. When I got into her car the stereo was blasting “I will survive” I had to grin. Perhaps I don’t give myself enough credit for surviving. I might not be where I want to be yet, but I am surviving. Surviving things that some wouldn’t. I am proud of myself. I really am.

Things with Rick? Well…we’ve had two nights of arguing and then making up. Strange. We’re both stressed out. Him about his job, me about my car, my kid, my ex’s new cunt…it all gets to us and we take it out on each other. And damn it….I’m done doing it. I swear tonight will not be round 3. I love that man. I can’t let the past life seep over into this one and destroy this one. But they are so mixed up right now. One big mismatch of confusion sometimes.

Tonight Rick’s getting a test, if it’s positive he’ll be rejoicing naked in the streets. If it’s negative, we’ll be studying harder. ;-)

Bucky’s coming with his Daddy to pick me up from work today. 4 ½ more hours…I can’t wait to hug my blue-eyed boy.

I just saw aloka's banner ad and she quotes me...how friggin kewl!! "because I'm a sucker for a love story" is what it says and it's a great banner...I stopped to look at it. She's in my faves....

-PoeticaL
12:48 p.m. ::
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