PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

no more hand and foot shit

Saturday, Dec. 17, 2005
My son just called me from Pennsylvania where he is with his father visiting his grandparents. Over the course of the ½ hour conversation we talked about how he went snowboarding on a cheap Wal-Mart snowboard and how he opened no presents from his grandparents but they did give him a $40 gift card (Wal-Mart)for Christmas. He told me they still have the same couch they’ve had for 16 years and that nothing has changed there at all. He told me that grandma’s lamp is in the same place and that grandpa was in the kitchen playing a game of Yahtzee. I was reminded of how much I do not miss my former in-laws and exactly how much they are the most boring people ever. I am not saying they are bad people..just boring. I spent endless Sunday’s playing a card game called ‘hand and foot’, Sunday’s I wish I could get back because I did that only to appease. I spent so much of those 11 years doing things I didn’t truly want to do or care to do. On one hand it saddens me to think I gave up my twenties to misery…and then I can only rejoice that those years are OVER people. They are OVER!!!

My son sounded bored. He mentioned that my former nephew Matthew is now 18 years old. That’s almost odd to me because when I first met Matthew he was not yet in kindergarten. I see that my son is now understanding some things on his own….that he’s finally realizing things about life. Nothing changes there. He said it himself to me as though I surely didn’t know this.

I was reminded of how much I don’t miss my former in-laws or that former life. It amazes me how quickly I have forgotten the biggest irritations of my former life. My in-laws are from a small town (as am I and my own family) but they are both hardly educated and small minded backwards sorts of people. They have never been much of anywhere and don’t have a big understanding for the world.

They love my son and truth be told…that’s more than my mother has ever done. But I personally don’t miss them. I last saw them a few years ago when they were here to visit with my ex and my son after the divorce. The last sentence my former mother in law ever uttered to me had something to do with “you’re a good mother…you’ve always been a good mother….I know that.”

I find it odd that after 11 years of my ex not wanting a thing to do with his parents….he now has been there 3 times in 3 years. Very odd…but I also don’t care.

I only mention any of this because of the conversation that my son and I just had and how much I realize that my son is more like me than I ever thought. He is a big thinker….and a person that has been brought up with constant change. I think he goes back there and it is a time warp and he notices the smallest minute details about their home.

“Mom they still have that big poster picture on their living room wall.” He said it with the same exasperation I felt when he said it. I used to want to grab them and scream at them… “Will you never grow as a person?” I used to want to tell them how badly it urked me that they took duct tape and taped the electrical wire from the ceiling fan across the ceiling and down the wall. That…now that’s just not right!!

For 11 years each of us got a $40 gift card for Wal-Mart. Nothing has changed except that some other poor woman gets that card instead of me. I should thank her for playing hand and foot in my place…..I abhorred that game for years. Many years I thought they skipped the $40 gift card tradition only to find out that my ex-asshole took everyone’s cards and spent them on himself. Yah….he really did that. TWICE!!!

I spent my evening going out to dinner with a husband I love and adore and doing some Christmas shopping for my son that takes after me!!! I love that kid more than life.

p.s.

Lets all rejoice for my freedom from in-law hell. In the divorce I gave up a mother in law, father in law, sister in law, brother in law and two nephews. I recently gained 4 brother in laws, 2 sister in laws, 1 girlfriend in law, 3 nephews, 2 nieces, 1 niece or nephew in utero, 2 dog in laws and 1 partridge in a pear tree!!! And I love them all. Based on the rest of his family and the way he was surely raised I have no doubt that Rick’s parents were great people and I hate that I missed out on knowing them…but I really do like my in-laws now and it’s an awesome feeling. Reason #876,909,112,346,567,223,090 I pick Rick…he has a cool family that plays Poker and parties and doesn’t always take his side…and he shares them with me willingly..and so many members of his family live right here in FL with us...and spend holidays with us..etc. Thank you honey...I love you...please don't give me a Wal-Mart gift card...ever!! No hairdryers either!!!!!!!!


9:26 p.m. ::
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