cluttering the net since 2001

once in a lifetime love

Monday, Jan. 21, 2002

wrote this at 4 p.m..

Ok today I’m in an awesome mood. Like totally awesome. I have no idea why but I think it might have had something to do with the fact that the sun is shining today and it’s a beautiful day and I was out and about for quite a few hours and so I got a nice big dose of pretty day! And it was much needed.

For whatever reasons we went looking at getting a new vehicle. I found this “sweet” Mustang GT 5.0. I started to sing “I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo..rollin' in my 5.0 with my ragtop down so my hair can blow” teehee.. That car was smokin’! White with black ragtop and not a mark on it. Clean clean interior. Husband says he’s goin tomorrow to test drive it and buy it. And judging by the recent events in my house…I’ll be the one driving that badboy around if he does buy it. Totally “sweet”.

I gotta say this. I don’t like new cars. I don’t like anything that came out after 1995. Everything after that time frame is rounded body and strange spaceship looking shit. I don’t like it. I happen to love my Honda Prelude but fear that it is going to be a money hog soon enough. Husband wants to get something else but keep what we have. He has a truck. I don’t think he’d be too happy without owning a truck. He hauls around too much wood and stuff to never have a truck.

wrote this at midnight

Tonight……conversation from “him”. He got in one of those moods and just started to rattle and it went like this…

“We have things in common. We’ve both experienced the Games people play …the masks that they wear and we don’t want that. We’re not looking for a fantasy out of a book. No superficial stuff.

Lets just assume I move out and get my shit all spread out and won’t be crowded in having a roommate. Lets say I want to meet you. Maybe you fly up here or I fly down there..whatever….

We have to meet.
We have to see if we like each other.
How we are in person.
See if it’s totally different or the same.
Me I’m the same.
You’re not going to find any changes here.
You said you know what you want.
I kinda know what I want…ya know.
I’m probably not as 100% sure like you are but I’ve got an idea what I want.
One thing I don’t want is I don’t want my time to be compromised in any way.
Ya know like Matt over there moving in with his girlfriend and she probably calls him when he goes from his room to the toilet on his cell phone to ask him when he’s coming back..
(I said “lets hope not)
he said
I’m sure of it.

So we meet. Whether you come up here or I go down there or whatever. Lets say everythings the same and we hit it off just fine ya know. Have you ever thought this through?

I said “it’s a difficult thing…too many variables”

One of the variables is you have a son and you’re not being condemned because you have a son but the fact is you gotta be around him. And like I said nobody’s condemning you. No matter where you’d be sooner or later you’d miss your son and be very depressed.

So if I was to live here and not there then how…. How would that work out?

Its not like you have no responsibility and you can just hop a plane and change your whole life.
A few things could happen…
One..you get custody of your son and move here.
Two …I move there.
And my boss says I might not even get an answer on that til April.
If we open a store there I told them I would come down there and run it.

At some point….. I’m going to be where I want to be ….on my own feet and doing ok…..pretty shortly…

I want to meet you
I want you to be a part of it.
And you have a big mess you haven’t begun to fix.
Have you thought about all of this?

Yes...I have...every single day. And I lost a lot of days just wondering if this is how he felt. Now I know….its different. Somehow its all different.

-Once in a Lifetime Love~

Some people have it , some people don’t
Some people never will
Sometimes it’s hard to know when you’ve got it
Sometimes its perfectly clear

Well I know its out there I’ve seen it happen
And I know the way it should feel
Cause there’s no mistakin’
That good kind of achin’
Of a once in a lifetime love

Once in a lifetime love
A love like we’ve all dreamed of
It may go disguised or right before your eyes
A once in a lifetime love

So if you think you’ve got it
If you feel it inside you
Don’t let it slip away
Cause you may not ever find what you never
Thought you’d have anyway
And if you’ve always had it and just realized
You know how luck you are
To wake up beside what some never find
A once in a lifetime love

It may go disguised or right before your eyes… A once in a lifetime love…
-Alan Jackson
12:25 a.m. ::
prev :: next