PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

orlando 2

Wednesday, Jun. 05, 2002

Just to make this clear so you don�t have to read last nights chat yourself.

�He� is coming to Orlando for work.
Orlando is an hour and a 1/2 from �.ME

�He� asked (with much assumption) if I wanted to meet him.

I think �he� was upset by my lack of �jumping up and down� excitement.

I woke up with this very issue on my mind.

I talked to Delboy about this. He suggested the following.

  1. Go to the beach
  2. Get a tan
  3. Forget �him�

Everyone says the same things to me about him. It�s hard to make anyone understand why there�s this invisible thread from me to him that nothing seems to change. It�s just there. And there are reasons I�ve just never revealed anywhere�

�him��s words�

�why can�t you just let it be what it is and find out?�

oh�.its all so simple to him because he thinks I�m living in that apartment � �finding myself�.

He knows nothing different because I closed him out of all of realities when I moved out and was free and he chose to pick that moment to tell me �awww well that�s nice let me tell you about my girlfriend Jill!�

*gulp*

That was too much for me�.too much to hear and especially right then.

So maybe when he asks me about Orlando I should say �awww well that�s nice, let me tell you about my husband.�

Did I do that? Nope. I sat there hyperventilating with a thousand and then some more thoughts�.

Why does he still have this affect on me?

Delboy valiantly tried to tell me �yeah I think you�re over him�.you�ve moved on.� Nice try Del..

But then again�.there�s someone/something else in the front of my mind that I should just not fear and let happen�..someone that called me at the rightest of right times last night.

Love is an odd assortment of candies in a jar, some always taste sweet and perfect regardless of how many times you�ve had them before, some give you cavities, some make you CRAVE more, some just give you a sugar rush and some are just forever stuck in your teeth throbbing.

�him� is a throbbing piece of candy.

8:36 a.m. ::
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