PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

orlando 2

Wednesday, Jun. 05, 2002

Just to make this clear so you don’t have to read last nights chat yourself.

“He” is coming to Orlando for work.
Orlando is an hour and a 1/2 from ….ME

“He” asked (with much assumption) if I wanted to meet him.

I think “he” was upset by my lack of “jumping up and down” excitement.

I woke up with this very issue on my mind.

I talked to Delboy about this. He suggested the following.

  1. Go to the beach
  2. Get a tan
  3. Forget “him”

Everyone says the same things to me about him. It’s hard to make anyone understand why there’s this invisible thread from me to him that nothing seems to change. It’s just there. And there are reasons I’ve just never revealed anywhere…

“him”’s words…

“why can’t you just let it be what it is and find out?”

oh….its all so simple to him because he thinks I’m living in that apartment … “finding myself”.

He knows nothing different because I closed him out of all of realities when I moved out and was free and he chose to pick that moment to tell me “awww well that’s nice let me tell you about my girlfriend Jill!”

*gulp*

That was too much for me….too much to hear and especially right then.

So maybe when he asks me about Orlando I should say “awww well that’s nice, let me tell you about my husband.”

Did I do that? Nope. I sat there hyperventilating with a thousand and then some more thoughts….

Why does he still have this affect on me?

Delboy valiantly tried to tell me “yeah I think you’re over him….you’ve moved on.” Nice try Del..

But then again….there’s someone/something else in the front of my mind that I should just not fear and let happen…..someone that called me at the rightest of right times last night.

Love is an odd assortment of candies in a jar, some always taste sweet and perfect regardless of how many times you’ve had them before, some give you cavities, some make you CRAVE more, some just give you a sugar rush and some are just forever stuck in your teeth throbbing.

“him” is a throbbing piece of candy.

8:36 a.m. ::
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