cluttering the net since 2001


Tuesday, Oct. 03, 2006
I’m the kind of person that likes to make people smile and laugh and while I wouldn’t call myself a prankster, I do like a great ongoing joke. I’m quick witted and I love to verbally spar with likeminded people. Sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes not so.

I have two examples….

This morning I asked Rick to hand me something from the kitchen. He responded by saying “who do you think I am…....(ex-husbands name here)?

To which my quick wit and smartassedness responded “you are when I close my eyes!”

Ohhh this was not good. Because while funny and quickwitted it is absolutely far far from the truth. But serves him right for speaking that name first thing in the morning. He did laugh because he does know me well....but when I kissed him goodbye we both kept our eyes open..me on purpose..him to check me....ha!

My co-workers are usually on the receiving end of the same quick wit and thankfully they know me well and forgive me often. Of course I’m not so crude at work, but sometimes I am with certain people.

For the last several months I have been working with a correspondent person in our corporate offices. I’ve asked him several questions regarding the status’s of students. He’s very non-committal about his answers. It started to drive me nuts. He’s also very straight laced and always completely and utterly and boringly professional. So much so that I always yawned during our telephone conversations. As always I quietly decided to “break him”.

I have done this to many in corporate. While they need to be professional there is nothing wrong with friendly banter and fostering good hearted work relationships. And after months of his non-committal answers to work related issues I was having such as

Examples as follows:


Me “Why does Joe Student not have a close date on his file yet?”

Him “perhaps soon”


Me “Has this student’s HCC transcript been received, I show UPS tracking to have been received but I see no processing, can you check on this?"

Him “I imagine that processing will happen soon.”


Me “I see a close date but no processing for student blah blah blah…is there an issue I need to fix?”

Him “I think it will resolve soon”


Me “Will yesterday's issue with student blah blah blah be resolved soon?”

Him “I believe so”

Me “When”

Him “I imagine soon”

Me “Am I done working on it then?”

Him “Should be.”

I finally noticed after months of this that he never says yes or no and he’s flim flam for a reason. He doesn’t comit and I have no leg to stand on and no expectations of him. It’s aggravating but quite clever on his part.

So…I decided to design a bumper sticker just for him and sent him an email that said

“Please meet your future Bumper Sticker”

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

He never responded, however he started to interject these phrases at a higher level than before in the most ridiculas phrases ever. "Perhaps we need to think this is perchance resolved, but maybe not."

Well...then I moved forward and ordered it. I then called one of his workmates that works in the same office and told her… “I bought stuffy pants a bumper sticker…..am sending it to you via interoffice so you can personally deliver it to him” She thought it was great and promised to report back to me after she personally delivered it to him. And yes she confirmed that he’s non-committal and a stuffy pants in person. That he rarely smiles. Oh this just fueled my wish for a smile out of him…even if I never saw it.

So…..apparently today after I left work my bumper sticker was received out west and I got this message from him

“You’re a nerd with too much time on your hands.”

Ha! That was it. But then I got this message from her….

“It came and it was well worth the wait!!!!! He turned a FEW colors of red and actually broke a (rather nice) smile. Thanks for letting me in on it. LOL. Call me in the a.m.”


It truly makes me grin from ear to ear to make Mr. Stuffy Pants do nothing more than smile.

My response to his message? “Perhaps”

The coolest thing that's ever happened to me at work...you know that game where you draw a million dots on a piece of paper and then two parties take turns drawing lines and the points are won when one party completes a square and claims it with their initial? TonyMacaroni sent me that game via interoffice from San Antonio and it made me smile all day. It's nice to be thought of, it's nicer yet to have some fun with your co-workers. TonyMac and I have been playing for 4 months now and there's about 7 lines on the page and no boxes yet. What fun!

p.s. the first assclown to say shit about closing my eyes to see ex….perhaps….I don’t care…humour is priceless…. Also...stuffy pants is not a former lover, nor is he on the market nor have I ever met him or even seen him. We just correspond daily for work. And TonyMac is my friend....blah!

8:48 p.m. ::
prev :: next