rain rain...drain away

Easter was�yah. It was disappointing. However, my son was not disappointed nor was he anything but great to be around all weekend. And so was Sean, b.f.�s nephew. I like that kid. We talked at great length yesterday and I would have to say that he�s a smart kid with a lot of insight.

I have been majorly bitchy lately about most everything because I�m majorly stressed out. I don�t process stress well. Add to that the fact that I�m changing my eating habits and trying to be more active and spending most of my free time alone, and it�s all disaster.

Most of the time I don�t think I am cut out to be a part of anything that takes two people to make it happen and happen well. I never got the necessary skills in my life to make these things copasetic.

It�s rainy out today. Completely overcast. This is not Florida weather. The ex came back, no apology about his bad behavior and I am just tired of fighting it all. I accept the fact that he�s a psychopath and psychopaths never change so I�m done getting upset over that issue. I hope!

Did talk to b.f. briefly this afternoon and it would appear that we�re going to sit down tonight and talk. Knowing you are going to have a �talk� with someone can be so anxiety inducing.

I just want a hot cup of coffee, a big fat chair to sit in, a new book to read (a good one please�I haven�t read a really awesome book in far too long) and a quilt. I feel cold inside. I feel empty. I feel lost.

I miss you m.p. !