PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

reasons

Monday, Sept. 30, 2002
Carnival boy keeps calling me. Constantly! 4 messages have gone unanswered. Most times I hold my cell phone while the 386 area code flashes. I just stare at it, turn off the ringer and throw it back into my backpack. I like carnival boy, I like him a lot. But I just don’t get that excited feeling in my stomach when I hear from him. It’s more of a “yeah tell me how great I am today because no one else has”. He said something to me on Friday that makes me feel like shit and I haven’t talked to him since. What did he say??

“Ever since I met you Kristy I have a reason to look forward to the future.”

*gulp*

I can’t live with that pressure….with the guilt. I can’t do that anymore.

Now…I have to tell him I can’t… I can’t be someone’s reason because I want someone to be mine.
10:04 a.m. ::
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