red dragon
Sunday, Oct. 06, 2002
I'm about to go to sleep...first a joke...and a few thoughtshim: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
me: orange you going to tell me?
him: lol
him: Because he couldn't get a date.
to those that ask ...he's doing great.
Tonight I went to see Red Dragon. I liked it. Then I talked to someone about it and they asked a few questions and I realized the bad guy doesn't die in a wicked way and the gore level was low compared to other Hannibal movies and then I decided I didn't like it. Then I stopped talking to that person, and now I like the movie again.
I have decided that from now on I'm not telling anyone anything about my current life situation. Fuck em...let em find out shit on their own. I try to be nice and be upfront with people I am meeting in real life, and they just drop jaw and stand there stupid or they say something stupid. The latter is worse by the way, but I am done being little miss upfront girl. Fuck it. At least for now.
Best way to avoid this problem? Wait til it's gone. All problems come and some stay for a long time, but then they go. I have learned this.
I never got on a jetplane because love does that to you. I suffered until he did it for me. I don't bail. I think I'll die being a non-bailer. I had too many people bail on me at an early age.
Someone earnestly asked me today about my mother. He didn't make me feel bad about my answers either. And he didn't say anything lame about it either. That was pretty f'n nice for a change. She's an egg donor. That's all she's turned into for me recently. Yes I wish I had a mother, one of those ones you see on tv that make castle cakes at birthday time. But I don't want her back in my life. I just want what everyone else around me has. It would be nice. I've noticed lots of people don't appreciate what they have. Sad.
Tonight Buckys daddy bought him a tae kwon doe uniform at the salvation army. Now don't laugh..but he went in there to get a few things for his new place and there was one hanging in there. A normally $55 uniform for $4! And Bucky loves it. I had to wrestle (yeah I know wrong sport...fake one too) it off of him just to wash it and dry it with downy sheets to make it all nice. It looks brand new and he's happy and yeah..so that was great.
So today at the park before the movies...I decided on a future. It's gonna take me like forever to be done, but like someone smart told me once, you have to start to finish.
I'm also working on my novel in my head. I am anxious to start. I need to be busy right now.
Ok..now I'm going to bed...with all the lights on because I keep seeing those shattered mirrors from red dragon....
-PoeticaL
