cluttering the net since 2001

sandcastles in Anquilla

Thursday, Apr. 25, 2002
I talked with husband last night and we talked so long and so hard that my eyes are bloodshot slits this morning but I feel so much better. I talked about all of my feelings, not just some of them. And get this….I told him alllllllll about “him”. And I was surprised at the way he reacted and I do remember at some point last night he said to me, “even if I had caught you in bed with him it wouldn’t be any different to me than what was going on, you were enthralled with him and that bothered me always, but in the end I think you’ve learned that most people online have issues and are looking for answers and sometimes you don’t want to be their answer because they have more questions than you can ever address.”

Pretty profound for a truss engineer, eh?

He also said that (check previous entry here) she probably has tons of her own issues and I should get myself some tunnel vision. Oh and for the record he said that he thinks the friendship I have with Mad Prophet is probably the healthiest friendship I have right now. Go Dan! Go Dan! My husband likes ya…. Ok ok I know he’s not your type. But he recognizes my need to speak to someone that understands…what only you and I can understand truly. He knows. He’s grateful to you. He sends his thanks!

Now how fucking kewl is that, eh?

I’d also like to mention that “Bucky” has a new friend in our new neighborhood. His name is Ben and he’s a very nice boy. He’s again older than “Bucky” but last night I came home to see Ben, Ben’s sister and my son all sitting in the sunroom playing Nintendo 64 together. That was way kewl. I stood there and just watched them for what seemed like not long enough. It’s those pictures in life that make it all so worth living.

I’m on a trip right now. I am in ‘Anquilla’. I am reading this amazing amazing book. I ordered Paul Westerberg off of Amazon because it’s like 2 discs for the price of one and at Borders they were each $14.99 and $15.99. So I’m saving like $16 bucks by ordering from Amazon and I am pleased by my budgeting mind. Especially when it comes to Paul. What a sacrifice!

But I did buy this book. “A trip to the Beach” by Melinda and Robert Blanchard. OMG if you need a vacation and have always dreamed of taking off to live on an island and start your own business….run to the bookstore and buy this book. (pssst Amazon has great prices too!) I am on page 63 and I know I’ll cry when the book is over and I have to come back home. By the way, I told husband I was going to the store to get Paul and he replied by saying “heyyyy I’m just having leftovers tonight so take it easy, hang out there if you want…enjoy yourself.” Then I got home and the house was cleaned, my laundry was put away and he handed me a humongous bowl of chicken and dumplings he made the previous night.

He’s pretty fucking amazing sometimes, ain’t he? ;-)

One thing I want to say. When you write, you write the gripe first and the smile last. Especially when you write in an online diary.

One last thing I want to say. In Memphis there is a pretty amazing person who has impacted my life in positive ways. I talked to husband about him as well. His reply, “there’s nothing wrong with having a friend who you can mind melt with when you need to talk.” ;-)

Either he just put down the crack pipe last night before we talked (it’s just a joke…)…or he’s actually thinking things through. Either way, I do love my husband, I’m just trying to forgive and move on and build a new sand castle and sometimes the air just knocks the winds out of me and makes it hard to build. To those that have handed me shovels along the way….thank you!

7:49 a.m. ::
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