cluttering the net since 2001

silent letter blank thought

Tuesday, Jun. 04, 2002
Iíve thought of writing you a letter a thousand times. I have begun so many times and never finished at all. Iíve written you a letter a million more times in my mind, so many more moments than my thoughts would ever allow. Iíve closed my eyes more often against the memories, always trying to live in the here and now. Iíve searched for places to hide from my feelings and found absolutely none. Iíve hated you more than I ever thought I could and loved you more than I probably ever should love anyone. Iíve never mailed a letter ever since that one time I wrote to you and received it back and it was never written to end up returning to be again mine. Iíve spilled ink danced across paper with pain, laughing evil at my own wicked thoughts and then threw the paper away yet again. Iíve wasted so much time on you and the only grace Iíve ever been allowed is the simple fact that you donít even know. That is something Iíve just never allowed. Dear MomÖÖ.never mind, its just like before because I never was allowed to finish and I know youíll never hear me now.
11:45 a.m. ::
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