PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

this just sucks.....*sob*

Friday, Mar. 10, 2006
Yesterday I broke down in tears 3 times throughout my work day. Oh no not the sobbing tears but the type that start to well up in your eyes and then you blink hoping you can catch them and then you wipe your eyes and the moisture is there even though you swore you blinked it all back. I did this three times. My former boss wrote back to me, and while he still works for the company he’s in Sarasota every day and there’s a big distance between St. Pete and Sarasota. It’s not a “come by for lunch” distance. It’s a “see you at the bi-monthly meeting” distance. This was the type of boss that would give you a hug on a bad day. A boss that would purposely send me a joke when anyone ticked me off. This was a good boss. And more so…this was a good friend, who still remains my friend.



I’ve altered his email somewhat to protect the innocent and prevent dooce’ness. When he speaks of watching trains roll through he’s referring to people that came, they saw, they were fired. We had a train of bad workers….the initials we assigned to the trains were their initials. It started with Matt Trayhan….which morphed into train….yes you know how these work things happen. It was a long running joke. Chef is my nickname at work….it sometimes morphs to “chef’erson”. I can’t believe how deeply this has affected me, but it has. We had a meeting with our new boss and she seems great. I’m looking forward to learning more from her as she’s a transfer in from a large location. I’m ok with having a new boss, I’m just not so okay with losing such a great friend and so abruptly. We were told he would have 3 more weeks to help meld things together. That did not happen. :-( Three times yesterday, count this as one time today!...so far… The idea that he would print out my email and frame it….that had me in absolute tears….you’ll see. His email….



I can't tell you how much it meant to me to find this letter (for the third time) awaiting me when I got home to yet again get on a f'in computer at home to check my work email. Ah the things this job has done to me / cost me. Let me count the ways -- a) way too much money on gas; b) way too much sleep; c) the chance at a somewhat decent -- though already disastrous, in its own way, marriage; d) a lack of sex drive; e) a lot of grey hair; and f) apparently - a real bad habit of leaving my fly down when I come back from the bathroom; but that is another story. What I'm saying here is that of the day I've had, little made me feel positive out of it all -- I'm losing a beloved team that I didn't know had made that deep an impact on me; a comfort zone; a bunch of really cute girls as co-workers (you, of course, being in the top two :) ) and a whole lot of sense of humor.



Not to mention someone to share it with.



I too have learned a great deal from you, more your mistakes than anything -- ha, ha, just kidding. But I can say that I've seen you as one of the only people at *company name* to see things for how they were and say fuck it, I'll do my thing and prove to them there is a different way. There is so much muck to get mired in there, and yet you refused to stay in that quicksand. For that, I'm most impressed.



Sure, you can drive me nuts like no other, but I can't help but say how much I enjoyed (privately) seeing your cute little self (not the leopard print self, though) come in and bitch about enrollment. I saw so much importance with you and thought how great if I had a little more time. I concentrated on the operational side to get that settled; and now Jill's done terrific there, but so much more to do. But SHE can do it now and not need my help. I started concentrating on you, and learning the system. But I never fully got the shot. Minus one "where is pen when I need," but that's a different story.



I feel I've left my adolescent birds just before learning to fly and worry horribly about the outcome. I can't believe how quick it came to an end. I thought for sure mid-month at least, but Bill, with his perverted persuasion, somehow convinced the powers that be that microwaves and me are more important than training and such. Go frickin' figure. I'm not ready to go, at all . . . but not much choice now.



I'm going to miss you so much, I've nearly broke into tears twice today (once because *big boss* was ruining my moment with you guys, but, not her fault) . . . your habits, your stories, your *mylastname*ness . . . giving you hugs, flirting with the lady at the cafe (she cleans up pretty well for a redneck princess), beating up on Angela, watching the BT and MT roll through (and now the Foyrent Express) . . . you guys made life worth being there . . . and proved SP (our location) was something more . . .



I'm wore out as hell, wanting to get drunk (no $ and no beer), need to fight a naked redhead chick with glasses and great brain (you do the math on that one), and a clove cigarette, so I'm finishing up. But I've printed out your letter, am framing it, and will put it right above my desk for constant reminder of what I had and hope to have again.



Take care, Chef-erson "Ebay Queen" Kincaid (RCB Jr.) . . .



Tell Chadley - I owe you your Aeropastle Gift Certificate for beating Schatner in reentries -- HA HA . . . I'll send interoffice mail (take about twelve weeks)



And in fond memory -- "I'm Matt Trayhan, Bitches!"



And as soon as I get my reimbursement check, that blender IS coming :)



Send an ebay package to me every once and awhile for shits and giggles.



Love much :)



Pooh Bear




I simply wrote back…. you said……. But I can say that I've seen you as one of the only people at *company name* to see things for how they were and say fuck it, I'll do my thing and prove to them there is a different way. There is so much muck to get mired in there, and yet you refused to stay in that quicksand. For that, I'm most impressed.



For that statement and for everything else...thank you. I hope that somehow my email....framed and all....will help you get through your roughest days...your best days.....your most challenging days.....



I think you are underappreciated here....and more so....completely misunderstood. You are a punk rock star doing the white boy dance to a rap song. I love ya....I cried when I wrote that email (from home...) because I didn't realize until that very moment how much I have changed as a person because of you.




Ok make that number 2 for today!!
8:19 a.m. ::
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