cluttering the net since 2001

spilled wine

Friday, Aug. 19, 2005
Today I called Po to ask a question about.....

A father, after 7 years of no contact and 18 years of neglect, tells his daughter he's coming over and wants a relationship." that’s about me….quoted straight from pobronson.com regarding his upcoming book.

It turns out that there were 30 stories and 700 pages and the editor said “smaller….must cut” and now there are 20 stories and nearly 400 pages. Me and 9 other people who poured out hearts out to Mr. Bronson without being paid for our time and or personal turmoil in recounting horrific memories, etc. were simply “cut”.

But he did not call me or contact me himself. However 2 days ago I received an email asking me (within a group email) for my opinion about a book cover.

Why was my story cut at this time? The editor asked, “Why would she forgive him after 7 years?”

…that’s easy…..but so hard for anyone else to understand. And while I want to rant and rave and somehow cope with the impossible to explain thoughts and ideas I have at this point, I won’t……I will resort to my usual crappy rhyming poetry (because that's all that part of my soul will allow me when I deal with this topic) and I will leave it by stating only that as with his last release the 10 cut people may float to the surface in the paperback version. This girl wants it to not float. I have a calmer sea than ever and want to put this away once and for all with all and because of all the days of my life I have lost to it, because of it…for it and despite it. But mostly because if you can't convince your editor via your writing skills what you yourself say you understand then why bother to say anything at all?

sally sea me?

when sally was a child
she could not accept
she sat in her mother’s shadow
and learned how to forget

when sally wore a dress
and went out to the prom
no one took her picture
as her heart sobbed down her extended arm

when sally wore a cap
she did not don the gown
it was not a joyous moment
as she crawled along her mommy’s frown

then sally found a note
and read it in the rain
she could not believe it was wrote
as her future dangled down the septic drain

sally had a silent dad
that dad sadly sat and sat
he didn’t notice enough
so what happened was simply just that

sally only coped
and apparently so did dad
getting through the day’s
some times you can’t have what simply isn’t to be had

sally had a mom
who told the world she ran away
but little girl knew the truth
but never had the chance to daddy say

so sally took all her scars
and a suitcase held all her empty
and in the kick she closed her eyes
and separated them from the ‘just me’

sally drove away alone
wiping the blueness from the sky
screaming out with all her nothing
“why why, I don’t under stand it!” she cried

when the world saw her alone
she hung herself upon one lie
“they died they died they died
so sad and so goodbye”

sally walked alone
her bed her tearful sea
the future was a drone
“no ‘they’ knows, no them will ever get me!”

then the impossible came to be
the sky opened just for sally
her daddy woke up her forgiveness
and sally had ….she had a FAMILY

it didn’t matter how
nor did it matter length
it matter that she healed
that sally finally found her strength

sally loved in full
and daddy loved her back
her mother painful years…disappeared
and sally no longer lacked

what’s left to understand?
Why do they still forget
That sally made it right
Sally dies without regret

A simply sally tale
A tale sad turns into happy
Fuck! sally says let it be it well
You get it not because you’re just crappy!

Sally’s suitcase is now full
In memory and in love
Daddy’s still smiling down
And all is still well above

“It is the glass of wine that lands on the floor that surely tasted best” – anonymous

And as always...I love you Daddy...you are not gone, you are still here within me. Thank you for giving me a chance to forgive with all my sally heart.
11:11 p.m. ::
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