sweet moments
Wednesday, May. 07, 2003
It�s always a good day when he updates. It�s also a great great day when
he logs on to chat to me throughout lunch. It�s also a good day because I have an interview Friday for a part time weekend job. It�s a permanent job on weekends doing easy data entry for easy and good money. I will be working 7 days a week, but typing is easy for me so my weekend job will hopefully be a breeze. There are drawbacks and this is not a permanent thing, but if I can pay off my truck, save some money, occupy my distraught mind�then this is a good thing to do. I will make decent money in a short period of time and still be around in the evenings to see my son and weekend evenings to spend time with him! I love him so much and want to say that he really does understand that I struggle with depression. Afterall like he said last night �you�re on Zoloft..doh�I�m not stupid Kristy.� And he�s right, he�s not. I just was wondering if he understood the full scope of this illness. Asking me to just be happy is like asking an asthma patient to just breathe without issues. It�s in fact exactly the same.
Lastly I just want to say that people that constantly judge other�s lives based on what they rant, rave and dissect in their own personal online diaries really should be aware that you can�t possibly know a persons life and everything it entails based on a diary. The notion that anyone thinks they do know based on that information simply shows how ignorant they are.
I told ex I was getting a part time weekend job and wanted to get Bucky at least 2 to 3 times a week in the evenings and intended to get bills paid off and go to college with money I save from working two jobs. He simply stated, �I�m happy for you, proud that you�re managing to do the right things.�>
Two things.
1. I don�t care what he says so much as I realize he knows me well and doesn�t say anything like that unless he means it.
2. I don�t need his approval, its more important to me that tomorrow is brighter, better and happier.
Today is happier because I have Rick in my life. Happier because I�m taking action to resolve my financial problems. Incidentally I get every job I interview for. I�ve never not gotten a job I went for. Luck I suppose.
I can admit faults of my own. Someone told me I can�t. I can. My mistakes�I got married too young, I let life happen to me rather than taking control of it. And lastly I will be spending mother�s day at the beach with the cutest blue eyed boy I know. Life has its sweet moments.
-PoeticaL
