PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

sweet moments

Wednesday, May. 07, 2003
Itís always a good day when he updates. Itís also a great great day when he logs on to chat to me throughout lunch. Itís also a good day because I have an interview Friday for a part time weekend job. Itís a permanent job on weekends doing easy data entry for easy and good money. I will be working 7 days a week, but typing is easy for me so my weekend job will hopefully be a breeze. There are drawbacks and this is not a permanent thing, but if I can pay off my truck, save some money, occupy my distraught mindÖthen this is a good thing to do. I will make decent money in a short period of time and still be around in the evenings to see my son and weekend evenings to spend time with him! I love him so much and want to say that he really does understand that I struggle with depression. Afterall like he said last night ďyouíre on Zoloft..dohÖIím not stupid Kristy.Ē And heís right, heís not. I just was wondering if he understood the full scope of this illness. Asking me to just be happy is like asking an asthma patient to just breathe without issues. Itís in fact exactly the same.

Lastly I just want to say that people that constantly judge otherís lives based on what they rant, rave and dissect in their own personal online diaries really should be aware that you canít possibly know a persons life and everything it entails based on a diary. The notion that anyone thinks they do know based on that information simply shows how ignorant they are.

I told ex I was getting a part time weekend job and wanted to get Bucky at least 2 to 3 times a week in the evenings and intended to get bills paid off and go to college with money I save from working two jobs. He simply stated, ďIím happy for you, proud that youíre managing to do the right things.Ē>

Two things.
1. I donít care what he says so much as I realize he knows me well and doesnít say anything like that unless he means it.
2. I donít need his approval, its more important to me that tomorrow is brighter, better and happier.

Today is happier because I have Rick in my life. Happier because Iím taking action to resolve my financial problems. Incidentally I get every job I interview for. Iíve never not gotten a job I went for. Luck I suppose.

I can admit faults of my own. Someone told me I canít. I can. My mistakesÖI got married too young, I let life happen to me rather than taking control of it. And lastly I will be spending motherís day at the beach with the cutest blue eyed boy I know. Life has its sweet moments.

-PoeticaL
1:20 p.m. ::
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