PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

the darkness closes in -poem

Sunday, Sept. 01, 2002
I posted the following Ö.on Friday July 19th the darkness closes in

And tonight while in a miserable mood and while feeling shitty I found this by accident.

http://forthebored.diaryland.com/020722_30.html

Now Iím struggling here between feeling like you thought it was good enough that you wanted a copy..but fuck you coulda asked! Iída been thrilled if you had just asked. Now I feel anally raped because you didnít. Yes itís great to be stealworthyÖ.just not great to be a victim of silent theft. Now, just to make it clear, I know you gave me credit and because of that, Iím not madÖjust perturbed because I donít know you and you didnít ask or even tell meÖ. I just had to find out by myself. Just like the time I saw two lines of my poetry boldly sprayed across someoneís layout. I called em on itÖit disappeared. Now do I want my words to disappear? Not be appreciated or enjoyed? Nope. I just want to be told, to be asked, to be respected...to quote said poem ironically...

"Ö turned on me
Somehow become a thief..."


This is exactly some of the shit that makes me want to dissapear. It's almost 6 a.m. I haven't slept, I don't know where my kid is and I didn't need to see this kind of shit right now....so if I sound like a bitch...fuck it. I am bitchy right now... Go ahead, call me a bitch, but you're the person that stole it. Yeah I'm really mad now....

-PoeticaL

THIS IS MY FUCKING POEM...MINE! MINE!!!! And to top it off I wrote it for MADPROPHET and so it's technically HIS!!!!!!!!!!

The darkness closes in
posted 08-03-2001 09:53 AM

My confusion made a mistake
I just wanted someone
To be different
To understand me
To hear me crying
When there were
No tears to be seen

Expecting perfection
Iím dispelling my
Belief that there was
Undeniable rejection

Iím falling down
On bleeding knees
Of heartache seeing
The reality of what
I just had in my hands
And so thoughtlessly
I look down at my
Palms and see itís
All been broken
Too late I understand

Iím gluing back
The petals to
Stems of disbelief
I had friendship
Like the sky
Forever blue perfection
My brutal loneliness
Has turned on me
Somehow become a thief

Iím walking down
The fields this morning
Clutching petals to my
Broken heart
Looking across the
Meadows, trying to
Remember where I was
When I had that crazy thought

I love you
And I wish you
Could rock me to sleep
In the comfort of your whisper
So with a thought
I reach out to you
And hold you close
Asking you to understand
That Iím so very sorry
That without you
I got so truly lost

I will never be
Better off without you
Iíll be flying above fields
Of flowers in my dreams
Wondering how I lost
That perfect one
Trying to silence
My deafening screams

Laying awake at night
Wondering what I thought
How my surroundings
Messed up the sweetest
Thing Iíve ever got

Iíll never stop praying
For a glimpse of you
Iíll never end my
Pleading to god
Iíll never stop being
Sorry

There will be no
Amen

-PoeticaL
5:51 a.m. ::
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