PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

the future's so bright I gotta wear shades...

Sunday, Feb. 24, 2002
I creatively filled out my apartment application and now I’ll turn it in tomorrow and hope they don’t realize just how damn broke I really am or how many bills I have never paid! I saw one comment someone wrote on the internet about the complex and they said, “this place lets any damned body move in!” I thought….YIPPPEEEEEEEE!

Oddly enough now that I am rounding the corner to freedom I am strangely drawn to husband. Last night he fell asleep on the couch and I curled up next to him. He woke up from an apparent dream and said, “what are you doing here?” as though he really meant it and had been dreaming about someone or something else. Strange.

We crawled into bed and for 2 hours it was like it used to be with us. It was sweet and perfection. And then I remembered…..

I also stopped today and looked at a Ford Probe for sale. Very nice and a good price. I want to go test-drive it tomorrow. If I’m going to go into personal debt now I might as well have some things I want to go into debt for…right? Just agree with me… Besides I plan on having two jobs, I can’t deal with car problems right now.

As you can probably imagine I have heard from “him” and I think most of my issues are my own. I am hoping that once I move out and have some time that I’ll find out who and what I really am. And hopefully I’ll get past those issues. I made a page for him on my website entitled “thank you”.

“Bucky” saw my new apartment and all he said was, “can I come over and swim here sometimes?” I said , “of course you can sweetie.” And that was that. I think he’s come to realize that there are some things that just have already happened.

As a side note…all of my shorts are too big. I can put my entire arm down the side of them and that’s pretty kewl I think. I’m applying for a part time job at the bookstores…..so again wish me luck. Oh and another thing…I’m taking my computer with me….desk and all…..so even if I can’t afford internet service right away…I’ll have my pc and I can start writing my novel….. There is a future to look forward to.

-PoeticaL

She builds a strong alibi
From the future that's here
She needs to know I'm alive
And that I'm flesh and I tear
-Our Lady Peace
4:17 p.m. ::
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