PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

the note on the street is....

Tuesday, Apr. 26, 2005
It’s 12:30 a.m. I’ve been up since about 9:30…left the apartment this morning around 10:15 after getting ready for work and working on schoolwork for about 45 minutes. I went to Tampa and worked until 3:30. I then drove back over to St Pete and worked until 10:30 p.m. I then spent the last few hours working on a Learning Team assignment for the class that I’m currently in. It was due tonight at midnight. I left the building at 11:45 and drove home. I walked in the door and checked to make sure my classmates all knew the assignment was done and posted and all was well. Then I changed into my pajamas and sat down in the dark and just thought about my day. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing all of this and then I remember that I want to be successful. I want to have little to no money stresses. Yes, I can and we (as in Rick and I) do pay our bills and we’re not hurting for anything but I want to be able to help my son go to college one day if he so chooses. I want to help him buy a car….I want to be the sort of Mom he can call and ask for money help. Its not just that, I have something to prove to myself. I want to achieve this goal I have.

Some days, like today, it is a difficult task to do it all and I entertain thoughts of quitting everything and getting a job that pays what I made at previous jobs and taking the easy road. But that easy road doesn’t lead to yellow brick roads.

Today I thought a lot about my son since he left me messages and I love the fact that I always think that it is only me that is thinking about him, missing him. It’s nice to know that he thinks about me when we are apart too. I always assumed that he was busy with school, busy jumping on his trampoline, busy playing outside with his friends. It’s nice to know that he considers where I am and how I am. He’s growing up a little too fast though.

It’s late and Chloe is walking all over my feet under the desk, she wants Mom to go to bed so she can go to sleep too. It was a long day…..

When is it that your kids stop calling you “Mommy” and begin resorting to “Mom”? When does that happen because I missed that moment where the switch happened. I am glad however that they go from “I love you” to “love you” rather than skipping that altogether. There’s no better thing in the world than to have your child tell you that you are loved back.

p.s. I can't leave you notes Bucky because you don't have your notes turned on....I'll help you over the weekend. love YOU too!
11:49 p.m. ::
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