cluttering the net since 2001

there is no divorce....(according to Rick)

Tuesday, Oct. 11, 2005
Yesterday I went out for lunch. Lunch was a scrambled egg, bacon and coffee. No carbs. Next to me there were two men talking. I wish I had a tape recorder. They were entertaining. They were talking about their wives. One had complaints that his wife was always miserable and that she complained endlessly about how she never got a break from the children. He spoke of how he tried to help her out by taking the kids to the zoo on Saturday. I resisted telling him that his 4 to 5 hr trip to the zoo on one day was a kind thing but perhaps he should count up how many hours the rest of the week his stay at home wife put in with the children as well before he talked smack about her.

The other gentlemen spoke about how his wife refused to go ballroom dancing with him. Ballroom dancing? He went on to talk about how she would never take up any new interests of his. But then did end up admitting that she did go once with him but did not like it. He spoke nothing positive of her attempt to go.

Then they moved into speaking about bike riding. One of the gentlemen was in good shape and told the other slightly balding chubbier one that he had recently bought himself a $500 fancy ass bike. (his words not mine) He talked about how his wife would not go with him (the stay at home mom) because she was always too tired and how he felt that if she rode a bike she’d feel more energized. He also pointed out that he rides his bike 4 to 5 miles every time he takes it out. (every Saturday morning…so perhaps the wife is tired???? Watching the children????)

The chubby male looks at the fit male and says, “I can’t ride bikes.”

Fit male: “Why not man…it’s great!”

Chubby male: “Because it hurts my taint”.

Fit male: “Your what?”

Chubby male: You know that spot between the nutsack and the asscrack….it taint your nuts…it taint your ass.

Fit male: “I taint never heard of that”

And then the two burst into fits of hysterical girl like laughter.

I pity their wives.

My future husband will never speak about me like this. His conversations will surely go the route of the same 3 or 4 gripes he's always had...it'll go like this.

Rick: My wife doesn’t do my laundry, so I have to do it myself.

Co-worker: That sucks man, you should buy her flowers or something.

Rick: Are you crazy…that ‘taint going to happen!

Co-worker: Well my woman does my laundry but I be buyin’ her’s some flowers all the damn times.

Rick: I can do my own laundry!!

Co-worker: Well then’s you wife must not be so bad’s afterall.

Rick: She won’t sew buttons on my pants or fix holes in my work shorts, she won’t even give me a massage that I paid for…I paid for it and she still won’t!!!

Co-worker: Leave her man.

Rick: Nah…she’s a’ight.

I think for Christmas Rick’s getting that massage that he paid for. Because he’s a’ight. And maybe a book of "do My laundry bi'otch!" coupons in his stocking.

p.s. if I was a stay at home wife...it would be different honey!
9:01 a.m. ::
prev :: next