PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

the silent war

Sunday, Aug. 25, 2002
Being able to say these things and not have someone say stupid things in return.....is a relief. Like now I can just let it go.

me: and my $43 wasn't on the dresser

t: really?

me: I never did see that again

me: yeah really

t: sounds a bit underhanded to me

me: c'mon

me: he sold half my stuff to fund his trip

me: he's all about underhanded

t: thats is what i was implying...

t: so he sold your stuff for that trip?

me: i know...

me: to go schlup his exgirlfriend who was at our wedding

me: yup

me: my dad passed away a few years ago....only thing I got was his computer and my bookcase from childhood back

t: that was stupid

me: two things

me: that was it

me: the computer...when I got it

me: was password protected

t: ok

me: I couldn't figure out the password right

me: then this chick from england that my dad knew

me: I called her

me: and asked her if she knew what it was

me: she says "hey he said you might call about this one day...."

me: she starts to cry

me: she says "do you have a pen?"

me: I'm like 'yeah.....don't cry though'

me: she says "ok but you can put your pen down...the password...is

me: iloveyoukristy

t: :-)

me: i swear...true story

t: i know

me: so....like i log onto my dad's pc

me: talk to all these people he's talked to for 7 years

me: on his buddy lists

me: they're all happy to see what they think is him

t: yep

me: it was good and it was bad in a way

me: cause those people thought he bailed

me: and I set them straight

me: made a few friends that still talk to me

t: wow

me: people knew all about me

me: it was so weird tony

me: they knew my name

me: my kids name

me: they knew stuff

t: I can imagine

me: they were all like 'he was so happy you guys reconciled"

me: it was kewl to get perspective from people he knew but I didn't know

t: right

me: ok ...so like he had all these pictures on that pc

me: of himself..his dogs...just stuff

t: right

me: when husband split

me: he took the pc

me: he sold it

me: its gone

me: just gone

me: and he never would tell me where

me: its just gone

t: that dick

me: i try really hard not to let stuff matter because when it matters...i just lose it

t: it seems like it

me: i mean stuff is just stuff...but some stuff...is not

t: i know

me: i don't know why i tell you this stuff

me: its not happy stuff

t: but it is your stuff

me: so what i need to just get over it

t: ?

me: i need to let it go

t: let what go?

me: i need to forget about it

me: i mean

me: not talk about it

t: why.?

me: i don't know

me: its just not good stuff to remember

t: if it helps you feel better then it is fine

me: what's really f'd about it

t: to talk to me about it

me: that password was still on there

me: i never told husband or anyone else what it was

me: so whoever or wherever it went

me: pretty useless

t: yep

me: seems stupid to lose something like that that no one else can benefit from

me: and he wont' tell me anything about it

me: where it went or how or why

me: just gone

t: like I said before....dick

me: yeah

me: i kn ow

me: try going to used bookstores and seeing your books

me: that you never sold to them

t:

me: or better yet....paying $4 a piece to get your cd's back

t: that was not very nice of him

me: does it all the time

t: still?

me: cause don'tcha know...what is mine is his

me: yeah still

t: with out asking?

me: yeah

me: without asking, without telling and then he denys it

t: dick

me: says i did it and can't remember...or says nothing

me: or I end up so angry that he can't even just admit it that i just end up throwing stuff against walls acting insane

me: and so mostly I just say nothing cause i'd rather just skip it all

t: right

me: but there are reasons I say that I want him to walk into his house one day and see nothing but lightbulbs hanging

t: exactly

me: everyone says sell his stuff....take his stuff...he has nothing to sell

me: or to take

me: the only thing he owns is his clothes

t: thats it?

me: yeah

me: I swear

t: now that is pathetic

me: he tends to give his stuff away

me: or sell it

me: or something

me: i asked him once not to touch my stuff anymore

me: i'm not materialistic but I buy it...work for it

me: and its mine

me: and he sells everything

t: right

me: and then it makes me insanely covet what I do have

me: so I told him not to take my cd's and listen to them in his car ...right

me: he said he wouldn't

t: right

me: then one time i'm in the car with him and Bucky shows me where all my cd's in his car are

me: so...i said nothing

me: Bucky was there

t:

me: 2 days later i drove up to clearwater where he works and I let all the air out of his tires and took my cd's out of his car

me: he never said a word to me about what he did or that his tires were all flat

me: not one word

t: lol

t: that is strange

me: yeah he never said a word to me

me: about the cd's being gone

me: or his tires being flat

me: but a couple weeks ago when he got the mustang

t: right

me: he told me "you can drive the nissan it has a cd player in it and i dont' HAVE any CDS

t: lol

me: its a goofy situation

me: cause we don't scream and yell

me: cause I just don't do that anymore

me: I just get even

me: its like a silent war

t: =)

2:55 p.m. ::
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