PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

there is no adequate title

Wednesday, Apr. 16, 2003
After much thought about my diary and what it is for me, I have decided to share my current situation, especially since I have been very forthright since I started my diary a year and a half ago. I can only hope that my problems and my being upfront about them might help someone else who may someday find themselves in a similar situation. If you have nothing constructive to say, please say nothing. If you don’t like my diary or what I have to say here, don’t read it. Thanks.

The following is an email exchange with a fellow diarylander regarding what is going on in my life. I am distraught at times, struggling at other times, but I am trying to be clear and concise. One note to Rick…I love you, I’m so grateful to God for bringing you into my life, you are my saving grace in life.

-----Original Message-----
From: PoeticaL GirL [mailto:poeticalgirl@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 11:02 AM
To: fellow diarylander
Subject: this is what is going on...

Sunday night I asked ex if I could see my son and he said no. I drove there, he said yes. Then his girlfriend said NO. And he and I argued because “Bucky” was already in my truck. He pushed me against the truck refusing to let me in the door to leave. The truck door that is. I finally left. When leaving he stepped out in front of my truck and I slammed on the brakes. I left. The cops called me wanting me to go make a statement because his girlfriend called the cops. I went to the police station with Rick and “Bucky”, the cops drove “Bucky” home at my request, they then arrested me for battery because ex had marks on his arm from the struggle. I went to jail for 20 hours from Sunday night 11:30 or so til yesterday 7 p.m. They released me R.O.R. (released on my own recognizance.) I am awaiting a court date.

There is damage to my truck. The arresting officer never looked at my vehicle to find out if there was. I am placing a complaint with the police department regarding the way the officer handled the entire matter.

All of this because his girlfriend wants me out of the picture and didn't want me to take my own son.

Yesterday while I was in prison ex called Rick offering to help him pay whatever monies to bail me out of prison stating "she doesn't belong in there." Rick refused his help and hung up on him after having told him "You sent the mother of your only child to prison." He hung up.

Two hours after I was released, showered and at home, ex called me letting “Bucky” speak to me on the phone. And then he got on the phone and said, "are you ok?" I hung up.

I am allowed contact with ex, I have a court order stating so. He does not feel I am a threat to him. The charges are not him. They are from the state of FL. The Department of Children and Youth is now involved due to the incident occurring in front of my son. Ex will have his own, his past, his entire life scrutinized now. His girlfriend bought me trouble, him trouble and my son trouble. Nice girl.

Rick is supportive. Rick is an amazing person. I called that night from prison..the things he said to me over the phone ...things I will never forget. His words....(something to the effect of…)

"You will be in my arms within hours, I will get you out." When I walked out with 4 other woman in there for the same charges, Rick was the only man standing there...waiting for me. He wrapped his arms around me...I wanted to burst out into tears. He kept asking me, "are you ok?" "are you ok?"

I fell asleep last night after making love..crying in his arms. He amazes me. I was the only girl in there that wasn't bawling my eyes out. One woman asked me why. I said, "because I have someone, I finally have someone that truly loves me." I laid on a cot still knowing I was the luckiest girl in the world no matter where I was.

The judge in the advisory court told me I was in a mess and needed help. I asked, "yes I am, can you please help me?" He said, "you will get help now."

I hope so.

From: "fellow diarylander"
To: PoeticaL GirL
Subject: RE: this is what is going on...
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 11:43:24 -0500

Oh my God Kristy, what a night mare. I have lived through this though and SO WILL YOU. I know it is devastating... I used to HATE the fact that my ex's girlfriend had ANY influence on my children what so ever. But your ex will grow a pair of balls eventually (hopefully anyway). Do you know what will happen in court? Can your ex have the charges dismissed? Is “Bucky” OK? Are YOU OK?

-----Original Message-----
From: PoeticaL GirL [mailto:poeticalgirl@hotmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 12:01 PM
To: fellow diarylander
Subject: RE: this is what is going on...

“Bucky” is fine. My ex has nothing to do with it. It's the state of FL that has filed the charges. Today when I first saw my truck in the light there is extensive damage from him pushing me against the truck not allowing me to get in the truck and get away from him. I am taking the truck back to the police station for them to see it. The arresting officer never looked at the truck. Imagine that! He also would not allow another officer to come into the room with us and he didn't record or tape anything I said at all. It's now his word against mine. His supervisor told me to bring the truck after work today. I am going to file charges against ex regarding the damage done to my vehicle. This is not over and I am not taking a fall alone. We were both involved and he will also pay.

From: "fellow diarylander"
To: PoeticaL GirL
Subject: RE: this is what is going on...
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2003 15:17:41 -0400

Sounds like the police need to get some FACTS. I don't understand how they can arrest you simply because your ex had some marks on his arms. Are you NOT supposed to defend yourself? God, wouldn't you just LOVE to beat the shit out of ex's girlfriend for even calling the police in the first place? You are so lucky you are with Rick now.

my reply

Whoever is "bleeding" or "injured" is the victim. Period. That's the law, and they don't care what happened, what was said, who was contained beyond their will etc. I have no real desire to beat the shit out of her; I simply have the same desire to be a mother to my son in the real sense of the word ...again. I miss being his mommy every single day.

I am very lucky I am with Rick now. I am not really ok, I am hanging in there as best as I can. I am leaning on Rick and am so grateful he is in my life. He is amazing beyond belief. He accompanied me to the police station late last night. He has been there for me…always. I love him so much.
9:16 a.m. ::
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