to answer my guestbook writer...

Hi. This isn't personal. With that said, I'm confused. You had an apartment. You had a place where you AND your son could live TOGETHER. Why, besides extremely selfish reasons, did you decide not to do this?

I moved out of that apartment a year ago due to financial problems and an electricity bill that ex racked up in the house he and I owned collectively at the time. I left the electricity on because my son lived there with him for the time being. I did not have the $600 they wanted in order for me to keep the electricity on. At the time he and I also decided to try to get our lives straightened out and try again. So I moved back in with my husband and child at the time.

I'm thouroughly confused as to what and where your priorities are. You speak of missing your son. You speak of the obvious turmoil this is causing your son. You speak of the unlivable conditions in which your son is residing. (2 adults and one child over the age of 6 living in a 1 bedroom apartment?)

My son lives with his father. His father�s girlfriend lives in her own apartment around the corner. Never have I stated that there were 3 people in the same place. He is moving into a two bedroom apartment within the next month so my son will have his own bedroom there. I do miss my son, but I can go and get him anytime I want, and I do. I just miss having him under the same roof. Financially this is not something I can make happen at the moment. That will change. Things are in the works.

You obviously adore your son. Your words make that perfectly clear. But if I were Bucky, I'd be extremely confused as well. Why his mother gave up a place where he would feel safe, secure and loved 150% would toss me down a few notches as well.

The fact that I moved out of that apartment a year ago is not an issue in anyone�s life right now. My son is safe and secure where he is. I just disagree with the fact that his father is showing him that family, marriage and everything that entails is not as important as your own personal gratifications. The problem is not where he is, it is what his father is doing in his personal life.

Have you and your ex sat him down TOGETHER? In person? Have you and your ex set aside your childish tactics and let Bucky know that, under no circumstances, your seperation hasn't a thing to do with him? I'm sure it's one thing that runs through your head constantly, but has anyone seriously drilled that information into Bucky's head?

I talk to my son daily and he knows he�s loved. His father and I have not sat down together, everytime I get near him he pushes me, hits me, or a fight ensues. I can only tell my son from my own perspective my own feelings since his father chooses not to sit down with me and his son and do this properly as you suggest and I know should happen. I agree with you. But I can�t make another human do the right things. I can only do them myself.

Yay, you found love. That in itself is terrific. But when does mother take priority over lover?

It never takes priority. I think perhaps you should call my son�s father and ask him why he left his wife and son homeless in order to go fuck his girlfriend. You�re accusing the wrong person of wrong doings where priority is concerned.

You have a son who is hurting, confused, and probably realitively angry.

There�s no way you can comment on my child when he doesn�t write this diary nor have you ever met him.

I read your words and the only thing I'm left with is wondering why you and ex are basking in the glow of "moving on"- when your son hasn't a clue as to what to do so he himself can also move on.

I am basking in being happy, it�s the first time I�ve had that in a very long time. I was married to a criminal, a liar, a cheat. Sorry if it feels like a relief to be away from that. It�s also a happy time for me where Rick is concerned and I deserve to have some happiness in my life. I can�t be of any good to my son until I am happy and well adjusted and mentally healthy myself.

(Grades taken blatant plunge?)

Bucky�s grades have remained unchanged.

True love comes along once in a lifetime. I am honestly happy you have found it. However, I'm sad to see your son has dropped to position #2. This isn't an attack. This is an opinion of someone who is on the outside looking in. I see priorities seriously askew. I do hope in the end all works out for you and Bucky.

Things will change when the financial situation changes. To properly handle everything I need an attorney, that costs $1500. I was left with no money, no real tangible belongings and no credit/bank account etc. If you�re truly concerned about my son I am more than willing to accept your financial donations for the betterment of my son�s life.