cluttering the net since 2001

twas the night before divorce and....

Monday, Aug. 25, 2003
Twas the night before my divorce and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, well...Chloe, but she's not a mouse!!
The paperwork was done and laid out with care
Who got what where and how it will be mutually shared

The judge was all nestled all snug in his bed
While I am still pacing and canít wait to de-wed
Boyfriend in his boxers and I in my thong
We chatted we talked, we snuggled for long

I had begged and pleaded and lied out my head
For ex to bring me my laptop, I canít believe what I said
He believed me and brought it as I promised its return
Knowing I would have the last laugh, the one final burn

The moon on the blue of the dazzling pool
Shone bright on the screen as I did the overall scroll
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But the fool and his new whore, everything hanging out everywhere!!

With a little tiny glance at the photographic proof not quite quick
I realized it was his nudity her face and his puny old dick
Many the pose and silly were they all
I cracked up laughing and telephoned everyone I could call

Itís the night before my divorce and here I do sit
The giggles and laughter the realization all perfectly fit
Heís nothing nor was he anything but a name
Heís so utterly stupid and Ted Bundy like is his game

Heís clever and conniving and charming at first
But heís a glass of water that leaves a deep thirst
Heís useless and mindless and thinks heís so smart
Yet here I sit and laugh because Iím not falling apart

As the years disappear as fast as a blink of my eye
Boyfriend says she resembles me and I wonder the why
He couldnít destroy me and it could be when he finally knew
He found a like face replacement and he thinks she will do

He poses like this and poses like that, half naked and then
Heís someone I canít remember, what did I see? Oh and when?
Heís a clown with the lack of complete self-respect
Heís nothing, heís gone and Iím glad that he left

I turn with a nod to my boyfriend I grin
ďTell me itís all over that nightmare I was inĒ
Come hold me and kiss me and lets take a picture of us
Hold it sacred and keep it, itís sacred our special love

He spoke not a word, but left me to my work
I filled up my ďfloppyĒ drive with that ex of a jerk
Typing my fingers across my keyboard I rose
In laughter I rhymed and wrote some new prose

I sprang to my feet and wondered if I really would
I knew that I had to, tonightís the night that I should
I heard boyfriend exclaim as he realized my plan
Youíre not going to do it, oh god, oh I donít want to seeÖ oh man!

Awww, its just one little picture of what I did find
Itís not all that evil, itís just an ugly hairy behind
But I most post it, and if you wonder why?? don't even!!!
He finally proved it beyond doubt heís truly an ass!!!

Tomorrow you may hear me right at noon, thatís me ...that loud shout!
"Iím free, Iím free of that marital hell, Iím finally let out!!!!"
9:43 p.m. ::
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