PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

we.... and you (poem)

Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2004
I wrote this poem on October 2, 2004. I posted it on a public forum. we

they said wed never make it
that wed tie ourselves up blue
i stuttered in our beginning
and then
i wrote the story
lesser than about me
it became about the truth

..and you

I just noticed today that someone replied and had this to say

Posted by joel on October 10, 2004 at 12:54:05:

In Reply to: we posted by PoeticaL on October 02, 2004 at 09:42:05:

I you

Somewhere between my training in math and science and ancient Greek, this poem keeps throwing images of chiasm in my head. I am less than the truth and the truth is greater than you; who we are as separate people points into a greater reality when we're together.

I'm also a fan of the implications of your grammar. No start to a sentence and no close, just an open-ended free-floating thought. Leaves a lot of freedom for the reader to encase it, like an artist selling a painting and leaving it to the buyer to find the proper frame to carry the art. I find myself moving between leaving it as it is and building a story around it. Fun times; thanks!

As far as I took it, it's simply beautiful.

-joel

~~~~~~~

This please me because its about you, I mean him, I mean when I say I love you its about that you part of me, which is him.
6:02 p.m. ::
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