PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

what is beautiful to you?

Wednesday, Aug. 10, 2005
In response to kristyk’s question because my comment got so long it became an entry. :-)

Beautiful is a person who lights up the room, a person that will not hesitate to hug someone having a bad day (minus that “in your comfortable space” lecherousness of course!) Beautiful is someone who is in tune with the who of who they are and ok with all of their downfalls and knows how to display their assets and realizes they can’t be perfect in all physical ways. Emotional Beauty is the way my son loves me without abandon or fear. The way Rick reaches for my hands.... The way Chloe looks up at me like she's the most content creature in the world just because we're sitting together. The sky after a storm...that's beauty.

Physical beauty…the way in which kristyk described.... I have always wanted my hair to grow longer than my shoulder blades and when I was a child I imagined what Crystal Gayles life must have been like. I imagined her with beautiful brushes and spending hours a day having someone else brush her long glorious hair. When I turned 12 and my cousins started to call me “watermelon” butt because of my round Italian sittin’ down area…I imagined if my hair would only grow as long as Crystal’s then I might disguise my watermelon.

These days I know I have a watermelon butt (round!) but thankfully God gave me a few cantaloupes at the front of the market to keep it company. I've always been grateful that I am proportinate. I do not have a longer torso or a squat set of legs. Everything is in proportion, even if it's all bigger than the magazine world says it should be. When I was 12 my neighbor (who was 17 and gangly and odd) told me that I had a F***able body. I asked my mother what that meant. (oh man don’t you wish life was like that now….that at 12 our children were this innocent?) My mother promptly smacked me across the face. I eventually found out what he meant and while I though he was gross there was a deep inner part of me that thought given the choice I’d rather be F***able rather than non F’able and this one comment changed the way I saw my watermelon. I learned to envision it as juicy and womanly and just down right mine and I started to own my can like no one else can!

Overall beauty for me is in the truly being the person that we are, without fear or self mental mutilation. To me there is nothing sadder than a human being who is constantly berating their appearance. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the best we can be physically. I know that I’d be healthier, somewhat happier….if I reduced my watermelon size. But I now realize I’d still have a watermelon and those cantalopes; they too are mine for keeps. Besides ever see a great looking fruit basket without any fruit in it? Sad really....lacking something...

Fortunately for me, Rick loves fruit salad. :-)

p.s. kristyk’s beautiful because she’s so amazing but so humble she doesn’t even notice how other’s envy just how together she really is. C’mon a Mother raising 7 beautiful creatures who figures out cool ways to entertain her kids without them even knowing she’s playing a trick on them and having fun at the same time??? Beautiful Genius! She’s flat out the kind of Mother I used to ask God to send to me... I know that I'm a great Mother, I know because I see how my child loves me back endlessly...but I learn something from her daily!
9:23 p.m. ::
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