a gift
Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2003
Today I learned that love has a reason and purpose always. That sometimes it is not easy to manipulate life into going along with what love wants. I know a man that loves a woman, and that woman loves the man, and yet circumstances are proving to get in the way. I have been in those shoes, and I now realize that this love I have now, it came like the first bloom in spring, the first breeze after a violent storm, it just fell into place and was meant to be. I met him, he held my hand, he looked at me with his kind eyes and I knew. And it was given to me as simple as a gift given on a holiday. Watching this man I know love this woman I now know, not knowing if he should, if he can, if she will love him forever in return, makes me realize that what I now have was given without a problem, without a fight, as simple as blowing the petals off of a dandelion on a warm day. It just was.
Last night Bucky and I played paper/pencil games, because none of his stuff is with me. No toys. :-( And then his father was a half hour late and that altercation left me with a cut on my arm and my formerly injured knee is now hurting again. :-(
Last night I was trying to remember why in the world I got married and I can�t. I simply can�t remember what instigated me to do that. I�m sure that at the time I thought I knew what I was doing. I can only chalk it up to being a different time and place in my life. I was after all only 20 years old, and what did I know then about life?
I realize that this gift of love I now have, doesn�t need a vow to keep it, a promise to trap it, or a reason for me to believe in it.
It just is, as though it always were, and was simply meant to be.
