PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

angels

Thursday, Jan. 16, 2003
Ok so I had a conversation with a friend who I told �If my Dad was around, this would all be going down differently�I miss him so much right now.� Then someone introduces me to someone randomly and totally freaky style and his name end�s up being Rick. Same as my Dad. And then he ends up being laid back, a free spirit, a kind heart..who gives me a roof over my head after knowing me for all of er�less than 48 hours. And then he helps me out every chance he gets. He points �left� and �right� and steers me around my direction dyslexia all the while finding ways to make me laugh and smile during one of the worst periods of my life to date. So�last night I packed up my Dad�s lighter collection that I spoke about back in June. I sat down with Rick and explained to him that I feel that in some really awesome magical way my Dad was looking out for me when he came into my life. Perhaps my dad sent a guardian angel my way when my life fell apart. An angel with the same exact name at the exact right time to show me that life goes on, that things work out, that there is good in this world despite the painful moments.

As soon as I gave Rick the lighters he was pretty speechless and said he was going to build a shelf to display them and that no one�s ever given him such a nice gift. I didn�t think about it long, it just felt meant to be. It just felt like the right thing to do. Rick�s asked me nothing in return for all of his help. He makes me feel welcome there and has done everything to make things good for me.

I�m so glad that there was enough of a gap in my ajar door for me to still see some light. Thanks Rick�for being someone that I can rely on right now, someone I can talk to right now, someone I can just be myself with.

~~~

Someone asked me how I could let people I knew read my diary�this is how�

I am me. This is who I am. I have tried to change things for people, I have tried to fix bad messes, I have cried a thousand tears, and yet this is who I am. I am just this. And if that is something to fear, to hide from then I refuse. I have nothing to hide from Rick or anyone else. I am grateful he came into my life when he did, sent by an angel? I think so. Hard to think anything else.

-PoeticaL
12:35 p.m. ::
prev :: next