another day....another tomorrow
Wednesday, Jan. 08, 2003
Every conversation starts with �but you did�� �but that was your fault�� and ends with �I gotta go!�
No plan includes a normal life, a bedroom, or stability for Bucky.
I have been accused of being negative and told that every problem I have is based on my lack of a positive attitude.
I was told last night that someday I�ll get married again because I am the marrying kind. #()&*!#@(!&*@)(@&)!&~ Say what?
I ate dinner out last night and didn�t pay for it. Thank you Marie !
I think I found a possible roommate. But yet if she were to ever bail I can pay the bills myself! That�s always a plus. And get this, her husband left her 2 years ago for someone she knew too. Argh�men!
I intend to do nothing but work, work, work. Pay off bills, get a clean slate. I wanna move on with my life without the past hanging onto the cuffs of my pants. I really want to someday be able to say �ahhhh free�free of all of that nightmare�every last bit.�
I have tried to be �nice�. I have �yelled my ass off�. And I am firmly convinced that sometimes there�s nothing left you can do.
I just talked to Mike and I woke him up out of bed to do so, and when I asked him if he wanted me to let him go he said, �yeah but first..are you ok? Did you find a place to live?� hmmmm No, I�m NOT dating him. I don�t want to be involved with anyone! But I sure can use the friends.
In the last 3 days I�ve met new people and done different things and while I lay in bed at night and ache for things I have lost, I have to look forward forward forward�.
I�m thankful for the friendships I�ve cultivated the last few years�without them I�d be sitting around with razor blades writing my epitaph.
-PoeticaL
