asthma is easy to understand........

Sometimes life, love and everything that goes with interpersonal relationships, finances, employment, pet ownership, vehicle maintenance, housekeeping. Sometimes it all just sucks and makes me want to thrash about like a baby who�s lost its pacifier. Last night I threw a good old two-year-old style conniption fit and flipped out throwing drawers and papers and though I didn�t mean to be destructive, I was. I was angry and confused and frustrated and then I wondered just how long would it take a person to die if they swallowed an entire bottle of Excedrin plus headache medicine?

And then finally somewhere in the foggy haze of emotions I fell asleep. Oh but I didn�t mean to�I intended to feel hateful until dawn. And like always dawn arrived like another promise of something new and again I want to believe that life isn�t an ugly mass of dirty socks and too many bodies in closed up walls. Sometimes I can�t breath but if I were asthmatic you�d be inclined to save me. Instead you say, �Well then you better knock off your shit�.�

I can�t breath damn it. Help me�.

Just for good measure and to remind myself that once I did something amazing, I called my son who within a matter of a few minutes reminded me that life is a beautiful thing. I could say to him, �hey bud my arm fell off last night so I can�t hug you with both arms again in life� and he would say �Kewl, I�ll chop off my arm and we can get that hug done one-handedly�. That�s just how amazing he is. He doesn�t see the cracks; he must see the beautiful reflection as though I were his mirror.

-PoeticaL