books by the sea

Most mornings I come into work and I realize this is not my calling. By that I do not mean that I hate my job or that I don�t find pleasure within my day or my daily tasks. What I mean is that my heart is not soaring as I do this work. My soul is not dancing either.

I wonder what it must be like to work at something you adore, something you admire and respect and love within your core.

These are things I have never much thought about before but as I gain my education I find myself wrestling in the mud with the question �What is it that I really want to do?�
Most of the time I find myself missing the pure joy of having an open notebook and a new pen. I miss having time to write poetry and listen to music (without studying as I do so�.that is�). I wish I had time to write and dream and think freely.

Last night Rick made an offhanded comment, �What would you do if I bought you a bookstore?� My immediate and joyful response was, �I�d quit my job and rearrange books all day long.� And then last night I tossed and turned with an upset stomach (not related to this post, this story or this issue�) and kept thinking about what it might be like to own a bookstore. Eh�I�d probably always be broke, I�d probably loath carrying such nonsense as Harlequin romance novels, etc. But then I thought,.. �imagine owning a bookstore and not having to worry about money�� And then my mind went into the sequence of winning the lottery, buying a huge bookstore on the beach with an outside deck for reading on the beach�so people could read books without buying them and read on big decks along the beach like a Bookwalk �get it like boardwalk but with books. And I�d have NO harlequins, I�d have lots of cool magazines and iced coffee and suntan lotion and liquor�beer on the beach while reading�nice. I�d have a liquor license and sell gum and candy bars and books of course books�but I�d have Italian Ice and Salt Water Taffy and metal sand pails and shovels�..sweet. Oh what I could spend my days doing if only I won the lottery and didn�t care about money but wanted to cater to beach reading�..and yes I would sell poetry on beach towels�..your poetry on a beach towel�.how cool would that shit be?

Now all I have to do is win the lottery and you can come to the bookwalk and read�.because I have big plans for all that money I don�t have.

And now for an unrelated meme I saw somewhere�

5 items in my fridge

half and half
butter
bacon
ketchup
mayonaise

5 items in my closet

Black pants (about 15 pair no lie..)
White shirts (about 20..no lie)
White purse I have never used
Lots of shoes
Dresses I rarely wear

5 items in my car

CD�s
Bills I have to pay
Laundry detergent
Cellphone charger
My pink bookbag

5 items in my purse

Sidekick cellphone
wallet
business cards
address book
receipts from Borders