burn...burn
Sunday, Jul. 04, 2004
Sometimes things don�t work out, or they�re just not working out when you want them to. 18 hours increments of nothing but silence and agitation. I�m three days into knowing and a lifetime into trying to forget that I�m a mistake walking. I�m forward moving and you�re not looking behind.
Everything�s going somewhere I�ve traveled before. This is not what I want but I won�t beg, plead, borrow or steal your love anymore. You either do or you don�t. Maybe we never understood each other. You have done things I can�t forget, I have done things you can�t forgive. And when those two things happen maybe it�s time to split despite the fact that there is still so much love to give and take and swim within.
I don�t want to go anywhere, but I don�t want to tie you down to me if you don�t want to be here. I don�t want to move into tomorrow without you but I know that I can if I have to. I have survived so much in a short period of time. I�m ok�I�ll ache and I�ll cry and I�ll beg the sky to bring you back if you go�but in time I will remember the good things. The things we can�t seem to find our way back to anymore. What happened to those nights when you couldn�t wait to hold me..when time stood still and sleep was something other people did.
I remember a time when your cigarette lit up in the dark was brand new and I wanted to wake up sweaty with smoke soot in my strands of hair. I remember when you reached for me before you thought about when I last came to you. I remember when there was no score card, no hang up�s no arguments about food, bills�life. I remember when all that mattered was you and I. If you can remember those things and find your way back to them with me, then I don�t want it to end, I want us to go looking again. But if you can�t and don�t want to forget the bad things, then we need to part. It scares the hell out of me because I don�t want to have a string of lights reminding me every time I close my eyes about how many people I have touched but never held onto�.but I will�if you can�t
