cluttering the net since 2001

dali girl

Sunday, May. 12, 2002
After our trip to the Dali museum, husband said that he was going to draw a picture for me. A Dali’esque rip off of sorts. He asked me what it was that I wanted. I said that it was up to him. I really wanted to see how he envisioned me I guess. I wanted it to come from him and not from my instructions.

Well, today we went to the mall so that “Bucky” could ice skate. But when they were having a birthday party and he couldn’t skate, we decided to cruise the mall a little bit. I bought the cutest Polo purse for $4.99. Yup $4.99! But I digress…back to the subject at hand.

We stopped at an artist supply store and husband bought the necessary supplies he needed to draw for me. He’s been sitting in the living room doing the raw rough draft with a pencil. He’s pre-sketching his layout etc. I have been reading and writing and cruising the net and so….. he gave me a preview about 5 minutes ago.

I’m still crying. It touched me so immensely and in such a raw way. It was me on paper in a way in which I could have never imagined he could put together. It is quite impossible to explain. But…so amazing that I can not even put words to it. I cannot even tell you what it looks like. Maybe once I get over this initial feeling of immense sadness/melancholy/insight/pain/realization I will be able to tell you. I promise to show you all a picture of said artwork when he is done. I would take a pic of it now but it’s all in very light pencil. I think he’s going to use pastels. It’s going to be rather amazing.

The thing that amazes me is I have a long laundry list of shit he’s done to me. I have scars that if I connected them like connecting the dots they would make a very ugly picture. And yet, I love him with everything I have, I just tend to feel like a weak stupid woman for doing that. I don’t understand the maps of latitude that we have traveled together. I don’t know the answers, I have silenced thousands of the questions and I’m left confused and yet…

After viewing his rendition of the girl I am….

I am in awe. I am in tears. -PoeticaL
12:24 a.m. ::
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