deep
Monday, Feb. 10, 2003
Nice night last night�no sleep�lots of cuddling�lots of conversation. Lots of all things sweet and unbelievably wonderful. When you can connect with a person that way..it�s the most amazing thing ever.
I�m still angry about the situation with my son, and it�s complex�it would take me forever to type it all out. Suffice it to say it took ex a month to figure out that this was causing scars for my son. What a moron!
Bucky asked me to take �Stevie� along with him for a visit with me. I cannot and will not ever take ex Mrs. Cleaver�s son with me anywhere ever in a thousand million years. Ever! They can play �add water instant family� all they want. I will have nothing to do with her child. Ever again. I simply said, �I can�t take anyone else with me.� To which he said, �ask Rick if it�s ok.�
It�s not Rick that�s the problem here, Rick stays out of the situation with my son. He holds me when I�m hurting over it, but other than that he is rather silent about it. He supports my wishes to have my son back with me. And I believe in my heart that someday that�s exactly what will happen. Someday soon. I have no doubts.
I�m having a hard time figuring out what to get Ricky for Valentines day. I want it to be special, but useful and something that he�d like to have. Hmm� *scratches head* Any ideas?
I got Bucky an art set for Valentines Day, I hope the next time I see him we�re all smiles and hugs and goodness. All things good and sweet. I miss his bright blue happy eyes. I miss them a lot. I miss jamming in the car on the way to work. It�s been 45 days and I still get a huge lump in my throat when I think about it all.
I�m trying to be happy when I�m swimming in the happy times, god only knows the painful times are so deep I drown.
-PoeticaL
Hey mad...I remember this It's so sweet that you do too. ;-)
