you are my electricity
Wednesday, May. 21, 2003
I used to update my diary at work in the mornings. I prefer to write in the morning for some reason. I envision a day and time when I can idly sit at home and do nothing but write and think and drink coffee and contemplate. I think that day is far far away. But when it comes I will have all these great stories to tell. The stories that are happening now in my life.
Last night I gave the pussy car away. Yup, I simply handed the title (signed by ex of course) over to a nice couple that lives downstairs. She's pregnant and now I envision a baby riding out in the car. Wonder if she's having a boy. It's really a boy kind of car I think. Either way, I gave it away. Of course its not a BMW and I didn't give it to family, but I did give a car away to virtual strangers. How many people can say that?
Yes, someday I'm going to write a short story book entitled 12 days. As in the 12 days of Christmas. A spoof really. The 12 days of Divorce. And not a hokey book. More of a book full of all these quirky things that have happened to me. It's not many people who when asked "What are you going to do with that car?" reply by saying "I'm going to give it to you, I have the title, it's yours. Do you want it?"
Yes, someday when my hair's no longer brown, my fingers are held together by thin wrinkly skin. Someday these things will be fictionalized. Like pouring cement over the past, walking away before it even dries.
Someday I'm going to laugh about it all. Today I'm just smiling.
I think that slowly relics of a bad past are dissapearing, that feels good.
One last thing, to answer Rick's question last night... "love is what you put into it, it's not the things that you are given, nor the things that you must take. It is the moments when you are held with love, even if the embrace is not returned. It is the moments when it rains and love holds up an umbrella. We can be anything we want to be together, if we do it all together. I love you more today than I did yesterday. You are my electricity.
-PoeticaL
