fear
Thursday, Oct. 24, 2002
I�m scared. I�m scared that if I trust anything, believe in anything�.like every time in the past I won�t just lose anything. I will lose everything. It�s one thing to have someone take things away from you, it�s quite another to drop the ball and break it all yourself. I�m over here dribbling and I won�t stop. There�s one net, one shot, one hoop to go and all I hear is the hollow thunking of the ball on the hard ground. I want to be the star, not just a point in the game.
I�ve been stranded inside my dreams
the nightmares came rolling in and then
Thunder was screaming at the lightening
While each violent drop pelted at the rain
I am frozen at the ledge never taking flight
always fearing the free falling
Who will catch me just before I strike midnight?
Inside the confusion I found a truth
A chance that fights for me to keep calling
Inside the measure of the something
There is one thing I now see
Let me in to help you
that�s what you have freely said to me
I�m now jumping from my safe and little ledge
I am the balancing act on my fear
Instead of horror being all I see
I am the star of this circus, the
Sharp clarity of the threatening edge
-PoeticaL
"I cannot breathe for fear of failing,
I cannot see for all these bottles full
of nervous words and jars of lame excuses�
-Bottles and Jars-Furs
