PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

frustrated aggravated.....ANGRY

Tuesday, Apr. 06, 2004
Lately all I feel is anger�..and lots of it. Anger�and I sit and tell myself to let it go. Then it goes away and I feel nothing. Then I sit and struggle with all the things that make me angry and it�s back. And then it�s back to nothing. It�s a tug of war with emotions.

I had parents during my childhood who cared more about themselves than they did anyone else, so no wonder it angers me that my son is somehow now gifted with a father that�s the same. There it is again�ANGER!

Every statement that wants to come out of my mouth begins with �And then�.. But I am stopping myself. I�m trying so hard to breath in and breath out and I�m here to tell you that 26 weeks of anger management classes don�t change a person�s true inner feelings. They only make you realize you have to sit and calm yourself down.

Someone told me this morning �just remember Kristy your time will come, just keep trudging along and one day it�ll be there�.� When I�m angry and distraught I really HATE those happy feel good statements that really are nothing but words at that moment.

But then when I breathe in and out a few times I realize that person�s probably right.

But in the meantime all I wanna do is pull a background check online and mail it off to ex�s employer and see if they still wanna pay him and keep him around after they find out he�s a Superman of Criminal�s.

But then I breathe in and breath out and I realize�.

If I do that, my son will be harmed the most of anyone.

See how frustrated I am?
8:44 a.m. ::
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