frustrated aggravated.....ANGRY
Tuesday, Apr. 06, 2004
Lately all I feel is anger�..and lots of it. Anger�and I sit and tell myself to let it go. Then it goes away and I feel nothing. Then I sit and struggle with all the things that make me angry and it�s back. And then it�s back to nothing. It�s a tug of war with emotions.
I had parents during my childhood who cared more about themselves than they did anyone else, so no wonder it angers me that my son is somehow now gifted with a father that�s the same. There it is again�ANGER!
Every statement that wants to come out of my mouth begins with �And then�.. But I am stopping myself. I�m trying so hard to breath in and breath out and I�m here to tell you that 26 weeks of anger management classes don�t change a person�s true inner feelings. They only make you realize you have to sit and calm yourself down.
Someone told me this morning �just remember Kristy your time will come, just keep trudging along and one day it�ll be there�.� When I�m angry and distraught I really HATE those happy feel good statements that really are nothing but words at that moment.
But then when I breathe in and out a few times I realize that person�s probably right.
But in the meantime all I wanna do is pull a background check online and mail it off to ex�s employer and see if they still wanna pay him and keep him around after they find out he�s a Superman of Criminal�s.
But then I breathe in and breath out and I realize�.
If I do that, my son will be harmed the most of anyone.
See how frustrated I am?