cluttering the net since 2001

goin to the park

Saturday, Oct. 05, 2002
Iíve decided Iím done trying to justify my life It is what it is. I have made mistakes. I will most likely make more. They just hopefully wonít be ones that deeply affect my sonís life.

Yesterday when I went to the bank to cash my check there was a guy there in the parking lot talking on a huge huge old time cell phone wearing clothes from the late 80ís rack while leaning against his BMW. I thought, ďgee I wonder if he spends all his money on the flashy car and canít afford to upgrade anything else?Ē BMW driving peopleÖ.phhhft..

I was happy to see ďtĒ. Not because of anything except that heís alive. He comes front and I see that he can type and that heís ok and nothing else in the world matters in that moment. And then heís gone again and Iím ok for a while and then I worry all over again. And then in my heart I realize that he will be back. And I realize that nothing worth having in your life comes easily.

When its real and good it doesnít matter what other people say or think, it doesnít matter how much time goes by. It remains real and good. Like he said, unchangeable.

I have the St Petersburg college schedule and I have my laptop charged up, my son's wearing his new sneakers and the park is calling my name. Iím going to go work on my characters and timeline for my novel, look at the class schedule and watch my son crawl on the jungle gym with his friend Gabby. Itís still so hot hereÖ.

3:01 p.m. ::
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