PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

goin to the park

Saturday, Oct. 05, 2002
I�ve decided I�m done trying to justify my life It is what it is. I have made mistakes. I will most likely make more. They just hopefully won�t be ones that deeply affect my son�s life.

Yesterday when I went to the bank to cash my check there was a guy there in the parking lot talking on a huge huge old time cell phone wearing clothes from the late 80�s rack while leaning against his BMW. I thought, �gee I wonder if he spends all his money on the flashy car and can�t afford to upgrade anything else?� BMW driving people�.phhhft..

I was happy to see �t�. Not because of anything except that he�s alive. He comes front and I see that he can type and that he�s ok and nothing else in the world matters in that moment. And then he�s gone again and I�m ok for a while and then I worry all over again. And then in my heart I realize that he will be back. And I realize that nothing worth having in your life comes easily.

When its real and good it doesn�t matter what other people say or think, it doesn�t matter how much time goes by. It remains real and good. Like he said, unchangeable.

I have the St Petersburg college schedule and I have my laptop charged up, my son's wearing his new sneakers and the park is calling my name. I�m going to go work on my characters and timeline for my novel, look at the class schedule and watch my son crawl on the jungle gym with his friend Gabby. It�s still so hot here�.

-PoeticaL
3:01 p.m. ::
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