grateful that I have him

This past week Rick has worked a lot of hours. When I say �a lot� I mean A LOT!! Last night he came home after 1:30 a.m. He was dead tired. As per usual there was nowhere for him to park his truck in the apartment complex parking lot. So he parked in a handicapped space because he had to be up and back at work at 6:30 a.m. There�s always been a parking issue where we live and yes it sucks. For awhile they charged $6 for parking and tacked that charge to your rent. However, if your spot was taken you had a $6 right to bitch. New management came in and while that management is somewhat better, the $6 fee for parking went away and apparently so did the ability to park again. He parked there because it was late and he figured that the truck would be there less than 6 hours and it was already so early in the morning.

This morning Rick went out to get in the truck to go to work and the truck was gone. He figured either it was stolen (as perhaps he forgot that late to lock it�) or it was towed away because he had parked in the handicapped parking spot. So he came back in and woke me up to see if I would give him a ride to work. I was tired, cranky. He was definitely tired and cranky. We were both further agitated by the fact that we now had a brand new problem to tackle.

I didn�t handle it correctly and I won�t get into the details of our flat out ugly fight�.my really bad behavior and his really horrid frustration level with my bad behavior. Suffice it to say it will forever stand as the time�..you know� the time the truck got towed and�.(you fill in the blanks here�)

So, in the end Rick ended up at work. I called the police to ascertain whether the truck was stolen or towed. It was towed. Gah�. I was given a tow yard�s phone number. I called, they were not open. By this time it was post argument and I was flat out exhausted so I crashed on the couch. His bosses wife ended up being the one that finally got ahold of the tow lot and was kind enough to let me drive to his workplace and then she drove me to the tow yard so that I could drive Rick�s truck back to his workplace (so he would have a way home when he got out of work today!) and then take my CRV home.

This entire ordeal cost us $140. FUCK ST PETE POLICE!!! $140 for parking in a handicap space? I�m not saying you shouldn�t be fined�.but that�s an assrape with no lubricant whatsoever.

In the process of this mornings early event�s I realized a few things.

1. I certainly can be a real bitch when I�m feeling stressed by situations that happen in life.
2. I am always sorry immediately but that�s not nearly good enough.
3. That one med worked better than the last med.
4. The bosses wife really likes my husband as a co-worker.
5. I did tell him I would do away with her if she ever�..(yes because I think nothing�s outside of possibility anymore)
6. I was very proud that she had so many kind things to say about him.
7. They don�t post his name anymore as �back up� because if they do the front line worker who is intended to work will not show up because they all know that Rick will show up at work even when he is scheduled to be off that day and is only he tentative backup.
8. Today when told �Richard�s such a nice guy.� I quickly responded with, �yah he�s a good person inside�I think his Mom did a great job.�

I then found myself looking up at the sky saying a prayer for a mother I never met, wishing I had, grateful that he had a great mother. Grateful that I have him.

And in the end I realize I�m fighting so often against all that I really want to climb inside of.

I don't wanna fight with you no more
You could come and bang on my front door
I won't be there, I won't be there
-Pete Francis