hope
Other than that, I�ve had a quiet weekend and an amazing conversation that leaves me with hope�.
me: i'm serious about what I said
t: ?
me: you know
me: if you can't deal with it
me: you need to figure that out now
t: i know...
t: but why would i not be able to deal with it?
me: ask all the people that couldn't
me: but said they could
me: i'm not asking you to deal with it
me: that's the thing
me: i'm really not
t: but my name isn't "all people who couldn't"
me: i'm just asking you not to lie and say you can if you can't
t: it is a lot of stuff kristy...
t: but I dont see no reason not to deal with it
me: i know that
t: does that make sense
me: theres a lot of reasons not to t
me: you dont have any issues in your life right now
me: its all nice and clean and easy
me: why fuck it all up
me: why?
me: why?
t: why would I be f'ing it up?
me: because my life's all fucked up
me: i told you that a long time ago
t: i know you did...
t: but why would it f mine up?
me: well I guess it can't if you just want to fuck and then leave
t: whatever
me: don't whatever me
me: ugh
me: i'm gonna say this once
me: i love you. i feel bad that i'm in the middle of 12 feet of total crap and I can't just be free......and not have this going on ...because I really wish I was something better for you
t: I love you ....and you dont need to be any better than who you are right now
me: do you understand?
me: do you understand that if you can't deal with it...i'm not gonna hate you ...
t: yes
t: yes
me: you don't have to do that for me t
t: do what...? understand and be content to deal with stuff?
me: i just dont' want my mess to ever cause you to resent me
me: if I had a family...I woulda left ...I'd be there wherever there would be, trying to get my life straight
t: I would never resent you
me: i don't have anywhere to go t
t: I know
me: i don't even know what i'm trying to say here anymore
me: maybe i need to just shut up
t: or smile a second or two
me: awww t