1 2 3 i just need a damn jobbie

So I�m at the library between interviews. I had one�it�s a temp assignment doing lameness but it pays enough that if I do it for even a week or so I�ll have enough money along with what I have saved already to keep the bills paid until the end of August including the rent I think. So I should be o.k.

The next interview is something that I�m truly interested in�working as a staff coordinator for a staffing agency. Yah�after a week and a half of this hunting for a job thing it�d be justification to help other people find jobs�.so I�m sitting here crossed eyed, cross legged and cross fingered with hope. Because it�s something I�d like to do. Then I have an interview for a very well known college in the area. It�s not my typical position and there are �down times� where I was told I could read study etc. And I could go to college�FREE! Yah�you heard me�or rather read me. FREE! That�d be sweet. I could totally get into that. The pay is a little less than I�d like but a little more than I need to pay my bills if I�m as frugal as a pack of Ramen. The college is one you�d know if I gave you the name. You�d be like �ohhh yahhh�.

My mood has improved because of events of last night�and while I could divulge..I won�t.

My former boss who I suspected of sabotaging me with a bad reference perhaps is out of town. Yup�out of town. I got a decoy to go in and hunt for information about what he�s saying about me and my decoy got a big �he�s out of town and there�s no one else you can talk to�. I hope he�s on a big trip abroad having a blast.

Last night Cathy�.she wanted me to pick her up from where she lives with her b.f. and take her to meet some other dude. So I go there against my better feelings about the entire mess and get this. She�s gone already and told the b.f. that she was meeting me at the Wayside. Which is a crap bar. So I say �uh ok�I guess I�ll go there and meet her.� I leave. Never mind that I�m jobless spending my gas to help her cheat when I don�t agree�nevermind that she couldn�t at least call from a payphone and say nevermind. Nevermind the shit she pulled�.but I digress�.. A few hours later she calls me from her home. I call back a half hour later and she�s no longer there and her b.f. answers and says �uh she just came back and changed her clothes and left again telling me you were at the corner grocery store waiting to pick her back up. I asked her why you didn�t come here with her and she didn�t have a good answer. What the fucks going on?� I�m sitting there like �uh..er�.um�hmm..� And then something just snapped and I said, �uh you�re girlfriend called me for a ride to her other b.f.�s house and then wasn�t home when I got there and I haven�t a damn clue where she is right now..and if I was going to be her alibi then it woulda been hella nice if she had told me the lies she was gonna tell so I had the option of doing what she asked�.and furthermore I tell you this because lying sucks and I�m over it all.� That bozo says �hey thanks for being honest with me�what�s your number�maybe I�ll call you sometime�I�m gonna pack my shit and leave.� I end the conversation and hang up.

This morning Cathy calls me bitching up a storm about how I ratted her ass out and she�s going to call R and make trouble for me by trying to tell him things she thinks he doesn�t know. Hmmm�. Too damn bad I�ve taken the high road of total honesty all the way across the board. She thinks she�s going to divulge some secret information about my online friend Bryan having bought airline tickets wanting me to go to Texas and meet him as if R doesn�t know. Well I have news for her and everyone else. R knows everything. I�ve told him about Bryan�s tickets and how they came to be. I�ve told him about Cathy�s cheating episode and I�ve truly finally figured out that lying is not the answer to anything. While I almost understand why she�s confused I cannot go along with the notion that it�s ok to lie to someone. I just can�t. And of course now in her mind I�m the scapegoat�the bitch who told her b.f. (b.f. #1) that she was out with b.f. #2. Whatever!!! I wonder if #2 knows about #1 yet??? She told on her damn self the minute she decided to be untruthful and tell him a pack of lies. He already knew she didn�t answer the phone when he was there unless he was sleeping. He�s not stupid. Most people aren�t.

I haven�t talked to Bryan in days and the tickets are not far away�and I�m not going. He never asked. He just bought them and forwarded a priceline.com report. I�m sure I�m avoiding the nasty end all be all conversation that might take place about how he spent money on tickets in hopes that I cared enough to go and now I�m again a bitch because I won�t be getting on that plane. Whatever! I didn�t much go for his half assed opinions of R when he�s clueless as well. I don�t even like Bryan anymore. Bryan and his long winded speeches about how perfect he is.

I know who I love. I know what I want. I know there are those that think what R and I have isn�t about love and love isn�t about the messes we�ve been through but that�s ok too. You�re not me. You�re not living my life. You only know bits and pieces of it.

-PoeticaL