judgemental people suck
Wednesday, Apr. 24, 2002
I just got this note from
seraphim77
�you are a fawkin wacko. Lyin drama queen to eighth power. Your life is unbelievably hectic and you propagate by remaining in the situations you create or just accept. I used to read your diary all the time, you were a favorite of mine. I thought you were a torn soul. I have taken you off now you are abso fawkin lutely nuts to do the shit you do. Sorry, please delete this ASAP. It's for your eyes only�
First off�she had some problems with spelling. But I�ll overlook that and say�maybe she has a point but the way she went about it was like �hey you�re fucked so dumpin you� Why did she feel the need to address me once and only once and only to insult me? That�s the thing about mankind that I can�t ever get used to. Talk to me only when you are saying goodbye?
Secondly. I haven�t remained in any situation that was something I created or just accepted. I chose my son over all else. Period. And I�d be curious to know if she has children. As I never have read her diary or had interest in doing so, I don�t plan to read it now to find out.
And last but not least just like I told MP recently. �I have to wonder about people on diaryland.� I am not perfect. This is my online tablet and I chose to show all sides of myself. Lately yup�I�ve been confused and rather fucked. Thanks for dumping out when the times got tough. It shows me that whatever you were worth wasn�t worth much in the end.
Oh�one last thing. I have only lied to one person. Him. Not that lying is right ever. But I have my reasons. It�s called a complete disillusionment on my part that led me to this bad place where I am now. I chose to trust in him and believe in him and when he turned out to be someone other than what I saw him as�.I lied. Lied about it all because it confused me, hurt me�led me astray.
Something else that I�ve been meaning to address. My husband. I have been married for what will be 11 years soon enough. I love my husband. He and I have been through some major things and we have been through everything in the last 11 years entirely on our own.
Considering that right now we�re living in a beautiful home, have a healthy child and are both gainfully employed and live in a beautiful part of the country I readily admit that most of my unhappiness comes from within. Why? I have no idea. If I knew that I would hit a switch and change it. Perhaps I need some zanax or something. Perhaps I need to just look around at my world and be grateful for what I have. Perhaps I need to say �fuck you� to people like Him. Like seraphim77 and be happy with the awesome people in my life like �Bucky�, husband, Madprophet etc�.. The peope that stick it out and accept you for what you are are the best.
Judgemental fucks can kiss off. I like me. When I get it together I'll be so amazing. Wait...that makes me half amazing now...half is better than other's none. Even when I�m all fucked up I�m still far better than judgemental people.
-PoeticaL
By the way, I never want people to delete what I have to say. I say it without fear.
