mark my words...
Wednesday, Mar. 20, 2002
this is my reply to mark for the most part�
I am not currently with anyone whereas you are very married and I can tell you firsthand that if you are emotionally involved with someone online it will mess up your marriage. Ask Glenn. Ask me. Ask lots of people. I don�t appreciate your judgmental comments. I have been to hell and back in the last year and a half. I readily admit that I have done wrong things towards and against my husband. Perhaps I deserve his actions. As much as I don�t want to admit that, perhaps I do.
When someone cheats on you the last thing you get around to doing is admitting that perhaps you weren�t emotionally supportive�perhaps you weren�t doing your part in the coupling. Does this mean I condone what he did? NO! It does however mean that I have sat down and thought about what I might have done to cause him to find something in or with someone else. I have spent the last 3 years emotionally involved with "him" when most likely I should have been emotionally involved with the person I chose to marry.
He did wrong things. I did wrong things in retaliation. Before the entire Internet thing becoming issue�.he wasn�t there. He started a business that I didn�t condone and perhaps I didn�t support him the way I should have. Instead of standing in his corner and supporting him (incidentally the way I did for "him" even though whatever successes he had would never filter their way into my life the way husbands would have!), I turned towards anyone and anything else that did pay attention to me. I turned my back on the one person that I should have been everything to.
We have been married for 11 years and have a child. We should have turned towards each other for support instead of other people. Why did that happen? Why does anything horrible happen?
I know I am going to get hate mail etc. But I have to say that the level of communication is so high between he and I right now. He is remorseful and I know I�ll get all the comments like �he�ll do it again..� Yes he would if everything in his life was disappointing and unfulfilling again. We have had some of the deepest conversations that I�ve ever had with anyone.
I think that while I learned a great deal about myself from (�him�), I think his involvement in my marriage issues was completely detrimental. Was that his fault? No. It was my fault.
As far as your knowledge of who I am. That started when I met your friend Glenn. Glenn who thought it was a good thing to take off his wedding ring and walk out on his wife to come and tell me what a total shit my husband was for leaving me for his ex-girlfriend. The pot calling the kettle black or what? I learned from the entire Glenn fiasco.
3 hours before I caught Mrs. Cleaver crawling out of my bedroom window, I told my husband�.the following..
I have learned that there is no good side to be on when it comes the Infidelity Fence.
I have been on all sides. I have cheated. I have been wronged. I have had the other women tell me �May the best woman win.� The only thing I haven�t done is sleep with a married man..have sex with a married man and try to convince him to leave his wife. I never did that. When Glenn said he wanted to go home to his wife I wished him luck and drove his ass back to the airport. And I didn�t sleep with him despite what his wife thinks.
My husband and son are coming over to my apartment tonight so we can all make dinner together. It was the 3 of us against the world for so many years�.I want that back. I am simply going to forgive. Forgive�try my best to overcome and let the future unfold itself the way it�s intended. Does this mean I want him back in my life? Well�he�s always going to be in my life one way or another. He�s the father of my son. I love him�I always will. The future is going to write itself and I am no longer afraid of the ink. What will be will be�.
-PoeticaL
