my mother used to make bubbles from dawn....they never lasted long

Once upon a time there was a world where you and I were in a bubble. A bubble like kids blow in the summertime. We had our own bubble where we looked out and no one came in to bother us. I thought we were happy in there. I thought you wanted to be in there with me. I didn�t think I had shackles and chains made of soap holding you beyond your will. And now now I find out that you might not want to be in my bubble with me. That my bubble is my world, my heart, my home. That you come and go at free will and can leave me without a nod to the left. I find out when I�m attached to these walls, our sheets, our world. I want you to hold me. I begged you to find the time for me. I called ahead and placed an order in earnest and thought I could do that. I thought I could make you want to hold me inside my bubbled over thoughts. I thought wrong. I�m waiting for you to decide and that�s wrong. You either love me or you don�t. If you don�t I have to face it and go on. I have to let you go. I just don�t know how to again hold my heart together if you burst my bubble because if you burst my bubble no amount of hope on a roap will rebuild it again.

You talk to me about bootie calls and being friends and it�s all superficial. I proposed. I knew a month ago that when you are gone I can�t float alone. You said yes�but maybe you really felt like no.

I love you but that�s not enough is it? There�s always going to be some higher power that draws you closer. I can�t be your family. My son and I can�t be that for you because you already have that elsewhere and we can�t come in when you don�t open the door.

It would be easier if you just did what he did. Cheat me, hurt me, hit me, blame me, take everything from me and make me hate you�.hate is easier than this feeling�this feeling I�ve had before�.disappointment� I want to be alone because if you go I don�t want to ever chance this feeling again. This bubble I�m in midair�.

-PoeticaL