neon - poem
neon
�
somewhere there�s a midway
and a carnival
not a circus with a tent
but a game booth with a voice
i remember from the past
�
mid-america there�s a picnic
i�m not there
not invited,
and there�s no food in my icebox
love�s going to illinois
so it�s all-empty�cold
just a void
�
sometimes there�s a boy
all blue eyed
flashing like a sparkler
on a july day almost june, dead afternoon�
but not quiet like the month called may i?
gone�he�s not mine today
�
sometimes nothing
but a word never written
and then the testimony comes back
and almost�i remember
who it is
that i see in my mirror
then ghost this town again
�
when the bile comes
i feel
the stems
dead like a flower
sleeping on my bed
�
wilted
forgotten
like the present guest
that didn�t attend
�
sometimes i am nothing
and it doesn�t matter
it is those times that i breathe
�
because they are real
and i am me
�
you left your trench coat
and i wear it
when i�m lonely, a rubber boat on the ocean
i can float
�
an envelope full of cut ups
i am fucked up
my heart has caved in
suicidal hope
�
i�m dragging
now i�m gagging
on the onetime dinner plate
we ate pizza and you
rode your cycle
through the psyche ward
and i wrote you a note
about my soap
�
when i loved you
you laughed inside my bones
like the moon you hung up
you�re now resurfaced
just left your dirty towel
on my bloody throat
-PoeticaL
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