sandcastles in Anquilla
Thursday, Apr. 25, 2002
I talked with husband last night and we talked so long and so hard that my eyes are bloodshot slits this morning but I feel so much better. I talked about all of my feelings, not just some of them. And get this�.I told him alllllllll about �him�. And I was surprised at the way he reacted and I do remember at some point last night he said to me, �even if I had caught you in bed with him it wouldn�t be any different to me than what was going on, you were enthralled with him and that bothered me always, but in the end I think you�ve learned that most people online have issues and are looking for answers and sometimes you don�t want to be their answer because they have more questions than you can ever address.�
Pretty profound for a truss engineer, eh?
He also said that (check previous entry here) she probably has tons of her own issues and I should get myself some tunnel vision. Oh and for the record he said that he thinks the friendship I have with Mad Prophet is probably the healthiest friendship I have right now. Go Dan! Go Dan! My husband likes ya�. Ok ok I know he�s not your type. But he recognizes my need to speak to someone that understands�what only you and I can understand truly. He knows. He�s grateful to you. He sends his thanks!
Now how fucking kewl is that, eh?
I�d also like to mention that �Bucky� has a new friend in our new neighborhood. His name is Ben and he�s a very nice boy. He�s again older than �Bucky� but last night I came home to see Ben, Ben�s sister and my son all sitting in the sunroom playing Nintendo 64 together. That was way kewl. I stood there and just watched them for what seemed like not long enough. It�s those pictures in life that make it all so worth living.
I�m on a trip right now. I am in �Anquilla�. I am reading this amazing amazing book. I ordered Paul Westerberg off of Amazon because it�s like 2 discs for the price of one and at Borders they were each $14.99 and $15.99. So I�m saving like $16 bucks by ordering from Amazon and I am pleased by my budgeting mind. Especially when it comes to Paul. What a sacrifice!
But I did buy this book. �A trip to the Beach� by Melinda and Robert Blanchard. OMG if you need a vacation and have always dreamed of taking off to live on an island and start your own business�.run to the bookstore and buy this book. (pssst Amazon has great prices too!) I am on page 63 and I know I�ll cry when the book is over and I have to come back home. By the way, I told husband I was going to the store to get Paul and he replied by saying �heyyyy I�m just having leftovers tonight so take it easy, hang out there if you want�enjoy yourself.� Then I got home and the house was cleaned, my laundry was put away and he handed me a humongous bowl of chicken and dumplings he made the previous night.
He�s pretty fucking amazing sometimes, ain�t he? ;-)
One thing I want to say. When you write, you write the gripe first and the smile last. Especially when you write in an online diary.
One last thing I want to say. In Memphis there is a pretty amazing person who has impacted my life in positive ways. I talked to husband about him as well. His reply, �there�s nothing wrong with having a friend who you can mind melt with when you need to talk.� ;-)
Either he just put down the crack pipe last night before we talked (it�s just a joke�)�or he�s actually thinking things through. Either way, I do love my husband, I�m just trying to forgive and move on and build a new sand castle and sometimes the air just knocks the winds out of me and makes it hard to build. To those that have handed me shovels along the way�.thank you!
-PoeticaL
