i feel so sad....so sad its sickening and i wonder if theres a drug good enough for this...this..hellish nightmare

I can�t stop crying.
I�ve tried for 3 hours now.
Just to stop that huffing noise.
Silence it.
It won�t be quieted by my lies anymore.

I�m thinking it doesn�t matter.
If it did it would have mattered to someone
After I said, �lets not play games just once.�

It sucks when you just want touched
So that you know you are still real.
Just so you know that you are.

Rejection once is bearable
Times two is heartbreaking.

Knowing that there�s someone that could sooth you
But isn�t near
Is emotional torture

And this isn�t a poem
It isn�t brilliant
But it�s all the fucking truth

I reach
I never find
I am lost
Listening to my sad mind

And the walls sigh
And the tears even lie
And I try to believe
Everything won�t leave

And all my thoughts turn to rhyme
But it�s 2 a.m.
And this is the last stupid line

I�ll be ok
When the morning comes
God help me get there�.