PoeticaL
cluttering the net since 2001

silent letter blank thought

Tuesday, Jun. 04, 2002
I�ve thought of writing you a letter a thousand times. I have begun so many times and never finished at all. I�ve written you a letter a million more times in my mind, so many more moments than my thoughts would ever allow. I�ve closed my eyes more often against the memories, always trying to live in the here and now. I�ve searched for places to hide from my feelings and found absolutely none. I�ve hated you more than I ever thought I could and loved you more than I probably ever should love anyone. I�ve never mailed a letter ever since that one time I wrote to you and received it back and it was never written to end up returning to be again mine. I�ve spilled ink danced across paper with pain, laughing evil at my own wicked thoughts and then threw the paper away yet again. I�ve wasted so much time on you and the only grace I�ve ever been allowed is the simple fact that you don�t even know. That is something I�ve just never allowed. Dear Mom��.never mind, its just like before because I never was allowed to finish and I know you�ll never hear me now.
11:45 a.m. ::
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